~OFF THE BEATEN PATH

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11:11

Or 2:30 am local time.....

I want to build a bridge with somebody. I want to light a fire and make sure it doesn't burn the bridge down. A flame that keeps us warm when life and nights are cold. We can use that bridge to block the wind and rain and to cross when were ready. I want a real connection over the river of life. I want to transcend and rise above it all. You can only fly that high with somebody else. Transcend the atmosphere and time itself. See the lights of heaven and rest and know by heart's light you're home.

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I'm searching and feeling out something that lasts more than a single moment. More than a passing glance, people just aint people anymore and disappear way too much now a days. I'm done with the illusions, I aint people and never have been, I don't/cant pretend to be something I'm not. What I am though is a key to a lock in a door that may or may not even exist.

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I'm here waiting are you even really out there? Or just another figment of my imagination? Probably best not to ask too many direct questions of the universe lately, she's been speaking really loud in my ear late at night. Its telling me of the vast empty swath of space ahead that's killing my sense of direction in such an utterly exquisitely painful empty and ever present reminder of how blind I have become. How hollow the world is and how every sound echoes for days. I can still see just well enough though to know just around the corner is something amazing, breath taking. life changing and elemental. If I can just get there.

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something on the horizon

The kind of thing you feel

out there in the crossfade

Something that is real.

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~MAIN HIGHWAY

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I hope your days going good and life's treating you kind. I'm looking for somebody that would like to talk on voice chat on discord or something similar hopefully daily and that's sincere about getting to know one another. Maybe we could watch a movie together, or a series, or listen to some music. Or I'm down to sit and talk about whatever is on our minds minus the small talk. I enjoy deeper conversations about the most random things like the nature of reality or the meaning behind symbolism, maybe some dream interpretation. Masks people wear and how to see through them. Although i cant remember most of my dreams anymore for whatever reason, I still enjoy thinking about them. I really like psyche and related things too trying to figure out how things work, machines, people, the universe. I love exploring and learning new things. Experiences. I'm a very sensual person. Id like to find somebody similar. I don't mean that in a sexual way, I mean that I feel so very much. All around me I'm connected to life and everything and sometimes its overwhelming. I'm an empath or something similar. I don't even know if I believe in things like that anymore but I am what I am and live as best I can and know how.

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If we hit it off on discord we can hopefully meet up IRL at some point. I am NOT interested in ONLINE only where theres no real chance of ever meeting. So please be in South Carolina or close by so its at least possible. I am thinking of moving to Ohio with some friends near Dayton middle of the year, maybe June or July. But i am not sure if thats happening or not its up in the air atm. So if youre from Ohio id be down to talk also and see how it goes.

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As far as hobbies and interests and things I'm into music, creative writing, art, life, exploring, learning new things, I love video games, movies, books, especially anything that's sci fi fantasy or horror. I love a good comedy or drama, I want to try geocaching, I want t go hiking when it warms back up. I'm starting to try to get back out into the world after a long time by myself. I was married for 23 years and now that's over and I'm trying to find my way in the world now. I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm going but I know what I want and more than that I know what I don't want.

I'm a very open and straight forward person, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I realize that's a great way to get it smashed to bits but its the only way I know how or want to be to be honest. They say being honest makes you vulnerable. I say to them, BE VULNERABLE ANYWAY! The only true way to have a connection is to be open. I am open and ready I just need to find the right person. I realize it might take a long time but I will keep looking, hoping, dreaming and believing. I had somebody the other day tell me I need to learn to keep things to myself and I'm thinking sure....so i can be like every other Ahole in the world right now that doesn't communicate their thoughts or feelings. This is how we get things like ghosting, rudeness, lies and misunderstandings. I'm a big believer in being who you are and walking how you walk on whatever path life takes you on. Alone or with company. Most of mines been alone but id really love some company.

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Im an introvert an INFP/t if you're into the myers briggs thing. I see this life through a certain lense, im a romantic at heart, not just in matters of love but i believe everything has so much hidden depth and meaning to it. Ive always wanted to find somebody that can see that too and i can share that with. But i seem to be a one off and a pariah, an outcast. I would say a reject, but you kind of have to even be a part of the world to be rejected lol. Im pretty sure i dont exist anymore.

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I LOVE music with all my heart mind and soul and I listen to a little of everything from synthwave, country, metal, rock, smooth jazz, RnB, pop, electronic, ambient, soundtrack and I'm sure a huge list of other stuff that cant be nailed down. One thing I love to do sometimes is find really weird or funny songs like this little gem lol.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUN556uFPJ0

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I've been on the dating apps for a while and man that is freaking HORRIFIC lol. Like people give you their number say they want to talk, then just ghost you randomly or my personal favorite the slow ghosting. No real rhyme or reason to it. I meet people on here and they do the same thing. I want to keep trying, I just need to know at least one other person in the world is actually trying too? I mean is it just me? It all feels like a bad joke with no punchline at all. Just empty space where an outline of a person once was.

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I feel like there's a disconnect between me and most people. I think I'm slightly on the spectrum, I have a good heart, i see a lot of beauty in the world, but i cant seem to walk in synch with it so i quit trying. People pick up on that and it pushes them away. Its an unwritten, unheard and mostly unseen thing but its there. I've kind of been an outcast my entire life I'm lonely but I aint desperate. I just want to find my person. Somebody decent kind and patient, somebody spiritual and artistic maybe ure on the spectrum too or maybe you dont know who or what you are. Maybe well figure it out together. Maybe well stumble into something bigger than the sum of our parts. Or maybe well walk.

Does anybody know how i do that? Does anybody know where I need to go or where i need to stand? I got plenty of faith in my backpack but my compass is kind of broken.

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I like weird people. The black sheep. The eight balls. The left of centers. The wallflowers. The underdog. The loners. The rejects. The outcasts. The outsiders. The odd ducks. The eccentric. The broken. The lonely. The lost and forgotten.

~Unknown

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Heres a few recent pictures if you need that sort of thing.

https://imgur.com/a/VWlifDA

https://imgur.com/a/wnX5HCA

Skin and bones,

Raggedy hopes and dreams.

This is me

Nothings what it seems

But Its all ive come to be

bits and pieces

of midnight memory

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NOTE: If this ad is still up no matter how old i am still looking. If it resonates with you, please contact me. If I dont respond right away know that i will, as soon as im able, I just i cant be on 24 7. I look forward to meeting and getting to know you.