Let’s try something new. I’m going to list all of my faults, vices and negatives. And if you make it through that list and still want to keep reading, B-R-A-V-O.

I currently have a Sedentary lifestyle. Not saying I’m fat. But I’m definitely the average out of shape dad bod guy.

Will I be changing that? Yeah. But if you’re active and fit and have a really healthy lifestyle, you deserve the right to avoid those who don’t fit that lifestyle. Whether they’re trying to change it or not. I support your decision!

I smoke cigarettes. Yes, I’m quitting. But again, some people look at it similarly to hard drug use. I don’t blame them. I’m realizing that having smoked from a young age kept me from learning healthy destressing or coping mechanisms. I recognize this and am trying to change it.

Drinking. Not so much a vice anymore. I’ve sort of lost all taste for it. Pondering completely never drinking again but some people get really offended if you don’t have a drink with them.

I don’t dance. It’s not that I can’t. I just don’t enjoy it. I probably won’t dance with you.

I’m not easily excitable or easily impressed. It can come off as snooty, but I’m not. I am just highly observant and generally know what I like, and why I like it. So when I see something derivative, it’s hard to enjoy it.

I snore and I get hot easily. I genuinely understand if my SO doesn’t want to spend the night. It sucks sleeping next to me.

I’ve had what some might consider too many sexual partners. Also something I’ve lost my taste for (meaningless sex). But I’ve done what I’ve done. And you can’t change the past. At least I don’t have herpes, right?

I’m sometimes shallow. I can’t be with someone I don’t think is physically attractive. I have high standards, but not unrealistic ones. That being said, stating this is meaningless because attractiveness is different things to different people. I’ve met people I found unattractive who thought they were the hottest thing on earth. And I’ve met amazingly attractive people who looked in the mirror and saw nothing beautiful about themselves. So in a sense, maybe I’m not shallow. But let’s just say I’m not one of those people who will date someone just because they have a great personality.

I’m a homebody. Not so much a vice as there’s plenty of likeminded people out there. But most of the population loves to be out doing things 6 days a week. I’m an introvert. I need downtime. So I always have that in mind when making plans. Secondly, I hate looking for parking. It’s literally one of the biggest deterrents in getting out. If my partner is willing to drive, I’m pretty happy tagging along just about anywhere. But left to my own devices, I’ll probably opt to stay home.

I’m not romantic. I have no problem expressing my feelings. Telling someone I love them. Showing it with little things. Altering my routine to make them happy. Or simply being mindful of their needs. But I’m not the type to make huge plans for anniversaries or Valentine’s Day. I detest baby talk and pet names. These are things I enjoyed when I was 16 and had a very idealistic and naïve view of what love was. I tire easily of anyone who requires constant affirmation. I lose interest quickly with very insecure people. Don’t misunderstand me, I like holding hands. I like cuddling. I don’t shy away from pda. But I’m not romantic. And I definitely feel that most of the people that enjoy romantic things enjoy them because of societal norms I don’t subscribe to.

I don’t want children. Again, Is this a “vice”? I don’t think so. But 90% of the population seems to view it as such. This is not going to change. I’m not going to suddenly want them. But OBVI I am pro choice. There’s always a silver lining!

I may never care to get married again. Looking back, it seems like such a meaningless gesture. Like giving someone a title at work. You think you achieved something when it happens. But to be honest, I feel like it’s just another thing we do for society rather than ourselves. Look at me! I’m so grown up. Look at this amazing person I somehow swindled into shackling themself to me legally! Haha! Nothing can break us apart now!

Ok I’m done with the negatives.

There, that wasn’t so bad was it?

Hello?

Well shit, I guess I lost you.

Anyway, here’s wonderwall.

And Here’s a brief summary of my basic info: 41 year old, single, child free (no plans of children), non religious, creative type with a wicked dark sense of humor.

5’10.5”, 190lbs latino (white washed).

Let me say, I am one of the most honest and open people you will ever meet. Faults aside, you can at least count on me being genuine with you. I’m also pretty god damned funny if you’re not uptight.

I am without culture. At least ethnically. I am curious about everyone and everything but I have never had a place to “call my own” (culturally) other than being American. Take that as you may. my culture is to appropriate everything beautiful I see. Whether it’s food or music or whatever.

My reading habits are more fiction/fantasy/sci fi based because I tried reading classics but found them dry. Or maybe I just prefer plain speech rather than having to re-read something over again to understand it’s meaning. Either way it’s more Neil Gaiman and Anne Rice than Charles dickens or Shakespeare for me.

Music has been my creative drug of choice for more than half of my life. I love angst, passion and “oomf”. I can learn just about any song by ear and I can probably play it. I like early 70s punk. Classic rock. Blues. Hip hop. Synth pop. New wave, no wave. I like a lot. My name is a reference to a band BTW, not necrophilia.

Photography is something I am learning and haven’t quite gotten a mastery of yet. But I do really enjoy it. I started with film and moved to digital. Because it’s free(basically). And I have zero pretentious notions about film being better or cooler. None of my favorite photographers continued to shoot film after digital cameras evolved to compete. And I don’t have to carry two cameras “just in case”. Plus I don’t like having to finish a roll to see something I shot earlier.

I limit who I interact with to people who are relatively drama free. I keep people at arms length until I’m somewhat convinced they’re not super bigoted or prejudiced. Don’t have a nasty drug habit. Seem to have ok morals. Didn’t vote for trump. Aren’t conservative. Aren’t a Covid denier. And have a great sense of humor. Once I know you’re all those things, you’re usually cleared for entry.

I am super liberal but not super woke. I think there are more important social issues to deal with than gender pronouns. I was raised without gender roles (in a house full of strong and capable women). So they are sort of alien to me. I have always cooked, cleaned and shared responsibilities equally. That’s just what people do, right?

I’m looking for someone who’s got book smarts and street smarts.

Someone who’s already been through the years of self doubt, insecurity and making bad decisions. Someone who’s supremely secure and really just wants a partner to be able to enjoy things with and bounce ideas off of.

Hopefully you like the idea of having someone to whisper that fucked up joke into your ear while we’re out in public. You know, jokes about shaking babies. Venereal diseases. Drugs. That’s the kind of person I want to meet. The person who giggles when a toddler gets a drink spilled on them.

Also it would be nice if you were the type who isn’t in desperate need of dating someone but wants to see what’s out there (I am too). That last part is key. I’m at a point in my life where I’m super happy being alone. I’m never bored! Most times, I’m the happiest homebody you’ll meet. I just want to keep these posts out there on the off chance I do meet someone really interesting And attractive.

It would also be nice if you’re within maybe … I dunno the southwestern portion of the United States? Although I could overlook distance if you’re not against travel.

My age cut off is 44. Other than that I’m open to all really. If you do respond, please be willing to send a picture. It’s a bit of a red flag when people are unwilling after reasonable amount of communication and I have sent one.