My previous post was deleted. Re-posting with correct title. I appreciate the people that replied.

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Few days ago I read a post where the OP stated that "most men are absolutely starved of affection, respect and emotional support, you can’t even imagine how dire the situation is."

It hit me like a punch in the face! Nothing new really, I've been going through something like that for a while now but every time I see it mentioned it's another punch. And another.

I think at this point I'm used to it, I'm anesthetized, I often forget how bad it is and how I'm wasting time being just with myself and not having anyone to talk to, share stories, vent, get drunk, smoke, go for a drive, listen to music, stay in silence.

I'm used to it but I fucking shouldn't be.

I moved to the US, in Maryland some years ago to marry the woman I love and start a new life with her. I'm originally from Italy, I was born and I grew up there. English isn't my first language, sorry for mistakes.
Back home I had a very busy, intense, fulfilling social life. No complains, very good friends.
I went from 100 to 0 in a matter of hours.

I can't take it anymore, I'm ashamed to even write about it here but I miss having people to talk about anything, do stupid things, text about stupid things, vent, yell, and do all the insignificant things that makes our lives. I really have no friends here. I'm a bit drunk right now and I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Maybe just to yell at the internet and take it out.

Every time I go back home, I feel alive again, I see in colors again, I walk around my town and every 5 minutes I meet someone I know. When I come back here I feel like shit for few days, I might cry here and there for few days, I ask myself what I'm doing here for few days...then I forget, I get anesthetized, go back to work and life as it has been for the last 15 years.

But I can't take it anymore.