I was going to cook some of that jazzed up "hacked ramen" you see all over YT and tiktok.

I then decided to leave, and browse YT, and tiktok.

I consider myself an intelligent man...

I'm just going to leave that statement right there where it fell.

Burnt water looks like a weird grey circle of dust at the bottom of the pot. I have successfully navigated most of my life without this information, but in case you were wondering, now we both know. YKW, come to think of it... the last time I posted one of these, it was when I nearly lit a friend's house on fire.

I was attempting to sear a steak on his BBQ, however my friend didn't know what a "grease pan" was, or that you had to clean the extremely flammable meat-jelly off of it it from time to time, aaaand it turned into a roaring blaze that almost caught the side of his house on fire and nearly exploded the propane tank

We made it out alive thankfully.

The steak did not.

I have burned many, many foods in my lifetime, and have a wealth of experience ruining traditional meals of all cultures, countries, and origins. If you are single and would like me to ruin your dinners, you can send me a chat anytime you please.

Please do not be otherwise involved with a partner, or proposition me to commit insurance fraud for you.

I get along best with people that are articulate, well-read, have a good sense of humor or a quick wit, think deeply about things that don't necessarily matter (and generally have a difficult time preventing their brains from doing that), are compassionate, kind, and are honest with themselves, as much as they can be.

Honesty is hard, but the will to it is something I deeply admire in people. Bonus points if you enjoy writing, or have a fondness for telling stories.

Some of the other non-pyromaniacal things that make me happy are: Novel experiences (my brain is a dopamine seeking missile of sorts), music, good conversation, fun banter (a skill I'm enjoying getting better at), people, and mob movies.

I Just re-watched Donnie Brasco yesterday, and every time I do, I insist on calling everything I don't like a "Fugazi" for at least a week.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to meet you soon.

Oh! Almost forgot- I'm looking for a monogamous, long-term relationship.