I'm 5'6, brown hair, brown eyes, and slightly chubby of belly. I'm an INFP Slytherin. My birthday is November 22. I have three tattoos, two of them are Grateful Dead images (the Dead are my religion). I'm an extremely introverted hermit whose outlook borders on misanthropy. For the most part, I don't really like other people. I vastly prefer animals. And of animals, I vastly prefer cats. My cat Archie died a few months ago and it was a terrible loss for me. I suppose when I'm done mourning him I will get another cat. I'm an Anglophile, a pluviophile, and a lover of grey, gloomy weather. The sun is my enemy. I work in the writing/publishing industry, and my job is 100% remote. I'm non-religious (atheist) and utterly apolitical (most Deadheads are). I'm horrifically profane and I don't have much use for social restrictions. I am very well-read. I love history (I have a BA in it) and documentaries (historical, science, true crime) and comedy (Louis CK, Jim Jefferies, Ricky Gervais, Dave Chappelle) and Xbox (Prey, Portal, QUBE, Talos Principle, Little Nightmares) and binging shows (British crime, horror, drama) and books (Stephen King, Ken Follett, George RR. Martin, JK Rowling) and old movies from the 40s and Harry Potter and Star Wars and LOTR and traveling and being a homebody/hermit. I LOVE going to restaurants. I play guitar and piano and used to be in bands, 25 years ago. I love grocery stores and get absolutely giddy in them. I love to cook and I love women who love to cook. I'm at home 90% of the time and I'm just fine with that. I live a very quiet, settled, boringly predictable life, and again, I'm just fine with that. I sowed all my oats as a young man and now I'm ready for domestic peace and relaxation.

I love the philosophical disciplines. I love debating weighty topics. I love science and history and theology and fine art. Deep discussions about these or any such topic bring me to life. I myself am a published author and I have appeared on radio stations debating religion vs. atheism. I love to ponder the universe and the meaning of life and I take great pleasure in asking profound questions and then searching for the answers. I'm an extraordinarily curious fellow, and my pursuit of knowledge drives much of what I do. But I'm a lot of fun. It's easy for me to make people laugh. And I myself love to laugh. I can be playful and mischievous and cheeky. My wit has sometimes been called acerbic. I often present as a curmudgeonly, grumpy old crab, but those who get close to me and get to know me deeply find there is a sweet, lovable goofball beneath the grumpy curmudgeon. My banter is usually centered around my wit, and some people cannot keep up with it.

I want a woman who is as introverted as me. Someone who prefers the quiet life. A nerd. I tend to be drawn to shy women who have universes to explore for those who are patient. I want a woman who will be my best friend, my total companion, my confidante, my boo, my lover, my partner in all areas of life. I want a woman who isn't right unless she's being cuddled. I want a woman who needs me and who herself wants to be needed. I want a woman who will take care of me, because I will take care of her. I know, in the end, everyone has to take care of themselves. But when life gets hard or when my tanks are empty or my love language is going overlooked, I want someone with me who will tend to me the way I will tend to her. We have each other's back. We spend a lot of time together. We're always at home, living very domestic, comfortable lives. I want a woman who will do the work of a relationship, because I will do that work. I want a sweet, loving, caring, deep-hearted, woman. I vastly prefer thicker, curvier women to thin ones. Skinny isn't my thing. But neither is obesity. I suppose voluptuous is the word I'm looking for. I'm short and I tend to prefer women my height or shorter, though my ex-wife was 5'8. And if she can cook, that would make me deliriously happy. I can cook and I will cook for my woman often. But I would love it if she cooked for me too. And I want a woman who will let me indulge in my particular fetish (you'll have to ask, because I won't say it here). I don't just want that, I require it.

Lastly, I hope to meet a woman on here who will, at some future date, assuming a loving LDR is established, be open to relocation. I live in a very snug, cozy condo that is completely paid for, and if I'm being honest, I would love to stay here. All my life I've never lived in any one place longer than 5 years. So I'm really in the mood now to put down some roots. I'd love to never have to move again. My mom currently lives here with me, but the clear evidence of her decline suggests she won't be with us too much longer. After she's gone, I hope to invite someone to come here and live life with me. It would be a quiet, peaceful, and relatively stress-free life of love, affection, and rest surrounded by cats. My home is very comfortable, but it needs the presence of a loving woman. All things need the presence of a loving woman, in my opinion. I believe a home is soul-less without a woman's presence.