Hi there, thanks for stopping by.

Bottom line up front: I'm in an open marriage. I'm hoping to meet a woman who wants to be friends and, sometimes, have sex. This is ideal for someone who is also non-monogamous, or is not looking for settle-down-and-multiply intimate relationship.

I am not looking for a unicorn.

Physically, I am 5' 7", relatively fit (i.e. no six pack but no beer belly either), a bright smile, and have dark skin. If you're a height supremacist or a white supremacist, you're going to have a bad time 😉

As the previous paragraph, and my username, suggest - I have a snarky, surreal, and cleverly absurd sense of humor. This comes from a deep love I have for play. Play is very important to me, and a playful curiosity about the world is sine qua non. Otherwise, what's the point of it all?

Personality-wise, I'm often described as a charming introvert. I am better with individuals and figuring out how we fit together. I am less good at working out how I fit into a larger group.

I love to read (just finished bell hooks' All About Love). I like to travel to new places. I speak three languages fairly okay; there's a fourth I understand quite well but cannot speak. There's a fifth I can still read but can't really speak much anymore. I guess you could say I'm a third-culture-kid all grown up.

Recently, I've been thinking about how the languages I had to learn influenced how I see the world. For me, this means going back and forth between Ludwig Wittgenstein's Philosophical Investigations and Ngũgĩ wa Thiongo's Decolonising the Mind. Did you know that the part of your brain which understands language is not directly connected to the part of your brain that makes words? This explains why I can understand a language but not speak it, and why I often feel I can't quite grasp the right word for something. That's where I often am these days 😂 like Flaubert, rolling around on the floor trying to find the right word.

If I had to describe my politics, I would call them left-of-center. If I had to go deeper, I would describe my views this way:

The nuts and bolts of living together means communication, means dispute, means arguing, essentially, but arguing in such a way where the results are not catastrophic. Conflict is a feature of life. So if you accept that conflict is going to be a ubiquitous feature of life, you say to yourself, “Okay, well, how do I deal with conflict so that it’s not only not catastrophic, but actually creative?” We want to be ambitious with it. We want to know how to live in a world where our conflicts, our differences, our collisions, can be very creative.

When it comes to friends, and even lovers, I'm attracted to people who share these traits with me: - into absurd humor. - curious, competent, communicative, and creative. - (really only for lovers) relatively fit or active - six pack not required

I would be happy to hear from you if this post resonated. Thanks for your time, and good luck to you!