Why do we do this?

We know that the chances of forever are so incalculably small. We know that the risks are so immeasurably great.

The touch of our fingertips brushing over a tabletop of an intimate resturant. Feet lightly touching, bordering on accidental, if we didnt know otherwise.

We know that we should walk away. This is far more effort than its worth. The alibis, covering our tracks, keeping secrets.

My hand on the small of your back. My fingers gently brushing the hair away from your face to behind your ear.

The constant hunt for open time that matches in our schedules. For out of the way places to meet. The search alone would deter most rational people.

Your eyes. I could get lost in them. The wanting in them. The desire to be understood, to be truly known by another. To be fully accepted by another. All your fears, expectations, hopes and desires to be laid bare and accepted without judgement.

Far better to just return to our regular lives. The cold and lonely experience that our marriages offer are not devoid of the security of knowing what to expect, unpleasant as it may be.

A forbidden smile. A private joke shared only between us. Laughter that no one else could understand. A song on the radio. A scene from a TV series. All experienced together and shielded from the outside world, the meaning special and protected.

Lets turn around now and return to our respective homes. Save ourselves the guilt, the justifications. Hope in vain for a day when our individual situations improve.

A text notification. A forbidden smile. A clandestine meeting. The coming together of two hearts, two minds, two bodies. A need, too long unfufilled, now satisfied. Perhaps a thought is given to a future. The impudence of hope given substance by two exceptional people.

That is why.