I’m 41, 5’4”, BBW, redhead, living in San Francisco. I’m married and nothing is changing there.

I’ve posted on Reddit in various r4r subs and have had some amazing experiences. From those experiences I learn a bit each time of what I want and every time I tweak my post a little more. Taking out things I didn’t like, adding what I want more.

I’m looking for men around my age or older. I know some of you younger men are great, I’m sure of it, but I’m honestly only really attracted to older men. I love the wrinkles and salt and pepper hair if they have it, I love the scruff, confidence and grace that age brings to men. If you’re younger and still want to message me, go for it, but please read the rest of the post at least. I am drawn to the blue collar type and a fan of a good beard but I’m open to broaden my attraction.

I’m not looking to travel outside of the city and I will not host.

Now for what I want. I’m seeking a FWB with a little emphasis on friend. Looking to spend time with someone, date, talk about the stupid mundane shit we do, send cheeky messages, go out a couple times a month. If you travel here every so often, that’s awesome also.

I’m good with a night out drinking, talking shit til we are stumbling back to wherever we are going or a cozy night in watching movies, eating whatever yummy seasonal stuff Trader Joe’s has or the overpriced cheese and fig spread from the cheese shop. Maybe check out a new restaurant or maybe I just call for you know…YOU know, like watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy extended edition.

Don’t ask me what my kinks are or what turns me on. I don’t like all the labels like dom, switch, sub zero, power, enm, polyam, kitchen table, relationship pineapple under the sea anarchist bullshit. I can’t be put in a box like that and tied up with a bow and be like “here you go, that’s me!” Because it’s not. Every person makes me feel different and how I am with one, may not be how I am with another. If you give me a list of everything you claim to be then what really is there to talk about. I wouldn’t say I’m vanilla but I’m very normal in what I like and want so take that into mind if you’re looking for some super kinky shit. My tastes grow and change and they also do with my partners. I am not into the lifestyle events, clubs, meetups or whatever else FetLife type of stuff there is.

Now if I HAVE to say anything about what I like or what gets me going, it is by really sweet respectful men. I don’t have an “on” switch. If I’m on a date and he’s sweet and respectful and makes me laugh with fun banter then it creates this vibe with me and gets me turned on. I get closer to him, wanting him, neeeed him. When men are genuine gentlemen it makes me fucking want them. Crave them. When he’s affectionate and shows he’s interested, gently puts his hand on my leg when talking, reaching across the table to hold my hand, fuck, like fuuuck, it does something to me. There can’t be any pressure at all from him or I lose interest. If I’m feeling comfort and coziness with someone I completely melt.

Lets see what else, I’m a bit of a rough around the edges blue collar gal and probably swear to much. I might say “like” like every sentence I mean no, yeah for sure yeah. I walk really slow, I meander, look at random stuff. I prefer sitting at the bar with the action instead of at a quiet private table. I will give someone my first bite and last bite. If I laugh way too hard I’ll probably snort. I eat and drink slow, but not obnoxiously. I prefer small plates and eats instead of one large meal. I don’t like restaurants that have the tables only 2” apart from the strangers dining next to you. I don’t have any social media except Reddit so I might not be very with “it.” I might see what pokemon are in the area. I can be shy in person even though what I post on reddit might not make me seem so. My nsfw posts are something I do for me, you guys on here liking them is just a bonus.

If you’ve made it this far (damn look at you) and are still interested (whaaat?) then send me a SFW pic. Theres plenty of pics and vids in my profile. We all know chemistry is important but physical attraction is going to bring us together first. Also tell me your top 3 bars you like in SF, what you are looking for, and last song you listened to.

This is already long but i put effort in this post I hope the ones who are interested put effort in their response. Send a pic, answer the random questions and let’s go from there.

I get tested regularly and expect a recent negative test before anything progresses. Vaxxed 4x. Very much lean left but let’s not get into that quite yet.

Have fun out there, happy hunting, and I hope you all find what you are looking for.