It's taking me some heartbreak to realize what I have been looking for all along. Some good times, some hurtful. I've had my expectations too high. I'm trying to work that out. And while I do, I am posting the ideal situation, even if it's still in the unrealistic phase. That's where you come in. If you see this fitting your life, if you want what I want, I think we can work together to put the logistics into play.

You are somewhere around Northern Virginia - or maybe south of me - Charlottesville? It doesn't matter ... as long as we can meet in the middle without it raising concerns. We have a cottage .... ok, wait ... at least a few choices of AirBnBs that we can eventually call "ours."  Of course, we start to get to know each other online. And when it feels right, we meet and share a few hours of talking and laughter.  Voice messages, videos (if you can persuade me do that!), texts, and a few more times of enjoying each other's company ... and then the excitement of choosing our place.

I almost had this once. That's how I know it's what I want. I never saw the cottage stage. The significant other decided she wanted a real marriage again. And there were young kids involved ... and so I stepped back.

I'm looking for this secret life. I'm not looking for it to become the prominent one. However, I want to be a significant part. I want you to pursue me, care for me, adore me .. and want us. Those are things I've never had, and I crave.

I appreciate the effort men who want just online "play" or casual, NSA hook ups. Mine is not the type of heart who can be ok with that. I'm finally ok with saying ... I need more. I deserve more. If you love your partner and all that's missing is physical, I will say what I have said to others in this situation ... communicate with her and work this out. I would give a lot to only have to overcome not enough sex.

Maturity is important. There is a sticking point I'll share sometime for 37 and under. Too much older, and I will feel like you're my current roommate.  Attraction is important for both of us. I am not the typical barbie doll; I am a little more. Dark hair with the white coming in strong. I am hoping you are able to open your arms wide and wrap them around me and let me snuggle into you ... keep me safe.

If you are single, and you're ok with this kind of relationship ... I think I would feel honored. But please be sure.

I have purposely timed this at one of the busiest times in my work. I don't want a 48 hour chat that fizzles .... I want to search to find you. Be patient. Be confident. If it's you, I will find you, babe. Don't give up on me.