I really suck at online dating. I always put a lot of thought and effort into it, however, I always seem to leave a few important things out. I prefer the natural flow of life...and I am fine alone, but I miss things about being with someone. Thought I’d give this a try to mix it up a little before my friends throw me in the Dating Protection Program (joke's on them...there's a wait list), and since mouthing “I love you” to strangers in public hasn’t been the most effective.

I grew up on the sunny side of hell, where things were too expensive, but dreams and love were free. I was raised to have an experience before a judgment, and to live for what makes you smile, and grit through the shit. That still guides me today.

I’m a single dad, one daughter, age 6. She is most important to me as I once lost a young son. We tight. I currently have no pets (I accidentally overfed the fish). I’m 5’11, but 6’11 if you tickle me. Brown hair, blue eyes. Little dad belly. Average looks, I’d say, tipping the scale in either direction from that depens on your tastes. But I can assure you I am nothing close to becoming the human form of garlic. Active. Dad joke teller. Incredible gift giver. Better listener. Best cuddler. Best head. Fun. Witty. Smart. Supportive. Dreamer. The human equivalent of a Wikipedia page, but for useless information. I cuss a lot, though not directed towards others in anger—unless I’m in traffic. I enjoy physics, math, documentaries, hiking, camping, rage sighing, eating tacos like I’m on my way to the electric chair, and I am undefeated when asking to race...after I’ve already started running. I read voraciously and can talk about any subject under the sun. Good conversation deepens me. Overall, without self-aggrandizing, I believe that anyone aside from those in traffic would agree that I am the most kind, fun, patient, and of course humble.

Now, I can be slightly sensitive, but not too sensitive. I have a pretty low tolerance for disrespect and at the same time am unfortunately blessed with a face that says, “Come hither with your fuckery for I shall entertain it, then later rock back and forth as a corner dweller with thy ham of comfort, and finally soak with thy toaster in the bathtub.” Just be nice.

I come here looking for that spark I crave, the connection, the unknown. Not a lot of what I’ve had before. I don’t have a long list of physical features or personality traits as wants, nor overall, a “type.” I don’t want to list off a bunch of “don’ts” either, for I’d say a majority of us are on the same page as far as what we want and don’t want. Treat as you want to be treated is the rule. Aside from that, be you, as you are. Be sweet. Be available (emotionally). Be kind, adventurous. Call when you feel like it. Say good morning and goodnight. I like knowing someone cares because they show it. I like knowing they’re putting in effort. I’m easy. I'm not going to judge your for your money, your job, where you live or what you have. None of that matters. I just want someone to show me something awesome, teach me something new, to share adventures with, and to help me with my headstand. I don’t chase, but I can be persuaded if the chase is reciprocated. Love my heart when all I ask is for you to love my soul.

What I am not looking for are day chat buddies, online only stuff or short term arrangements here. Please don't pretend to be interested because you just want someone to talk to for a few hours. I'm open to distance. Could be fun. But only if we're both playing our part in that.

If the following is your hangup...I’m fine with lying about where we met: “Our eyes met from across the room. Her alluring and magnetic gaze in my direction met my shy but confused gaze, and made her wonder if I had lead poisoning. It drew me to her. As I moved closer, she smelled of French fries and strawberries. My thoughts were only of how I must have her. Or the French fries.” We can of course change all this, or expand on it. Whatever’s clever.

Saw this in a meme:

“I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic, your playlist makes you dance, strangers make you smile, and the night sky touches your soul. I hope you fall in love with being alive again.”  

I wish that for all of you, response or not.

Talk to me, Goose.