Hello! I am a gay man on the asexual spectrum who is living in a platonic partnership with my best friend, a woman, in Victoria, BC, Canada.

I’m looking for a long-distance husband (eventually).

Being neurodivergent, my relationships often take their final shape later on, after being close for a while. Thus, I’d expect any relationship I’d want to be in to begin with genuine curiosity, and progress to mutual friendship, only then to become romantic.

Because I’m happy living where we do (and because after years of looking, we’re finally in a really good living situation (and because I firmly believe the path I’m espousing will enhance the love and intimacy in this new, romantic relationship I’m hoping to form)) —for all these reasons, I’m deliberately looking and intending to live “apart, together.” That means to keep our own spaces (though we may visit).

I would like this to be a lifelong thing (I think) but for at least 10 years.

Below are some get-to-know-me paragraphs.

Hope to hear from you!

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Once I (consensually, at their request) relieved someone of a demon, and it tried to jump me on the way out, but I apparently scared it into simply going? And I got given a beautiful pashmina in thanks, as well as shown in a book exactly what type of demon it was, by my client. One of my most beloved authors, M. Scott Peck, also spent some time as an exorcist, so I’m proud of the company I keep.

I got to spend 9 months travelling all over Australia by myself studying a form of indigenous healing that was consciously opened to settlers by its creator… but my 3-month visa didn’t show up so I accidentally stayed 6 months without a visa and got banned from Australia for 3 years on my exit interview. :( Phew, it’s been 3 years now, so I can go back. :)

I'm deeply touched by poetry, some modernist, some ancient, often romantic, but most of the time I need to look up the poem and author again or ask my poetry circle leader about them, because the names and eras keep slipping through my fingers. It’s something about details.

I hold an Honours degree in Philosophy and mostly, it comes in handy reminding myself, with intention, that nihilism is a) a limited phenomenon, no matter how popular, and b) a conscious choice, and can be unchosen. Nihilism tries to unalive me.

I love fragrance… except for the ones I hate. But I’m not posh about it; one of my favourite scents for myself is from Axe (granted it’s a rare, unpopular-except-with-its-diehards one).

I love cats, but am sadly allergic to them. I only ever had one cat, a hairless e.g. Living Suede who I truly could bury my face in safely. Though I am 95% unaffected by my present hairless nakey baby. I suffer for her, and it’s okay.

I love music, a selection from a vast array of options, although recently I realised I’d missed out, not just on years of his work, but on an upcoming local Joel Plaskett concert. His fans really love him, and I’m finding myself among them. I also love symphonic metal.

I had to radicalize myself to come to terms with living on disability, and this deep dive into leftist politics continues to make me a much better person.

When it’s the weekend, I’m going to Actually Sleep Enough, followed by re-reading a favourite series and having the most delicious Pina Colada protein pudding for lunch.

I like to get a close shave and a soaking bath with luscious bubbles, put on some gorgeous cologne and snuggle with my very pushy catto. (She insists on the snuggles). If you become close to me, you’ll occupy a carefully carved niche in my regular daily or weekly or monthly allotment of spoons (please see Spoon Theory of Disability for help unpacking that if you need it)!