I'm divorced after almost 20 years of being with my ex. I spent enough time mourning the loss of her, which, I have to say, almost killed me. But I'm past that now and I'm ready to be in loving partnership again.

But I'm an extreme introvert. A homebody. A hermit. A hopeless INFP. I'm anti-social, slightly misanthropic (give me the company of my cat over people any day), and jaded when it comes to trusting people. I live in a bubble where my own little world (it's always 1950 in my apartment, no matter what the year is outside), filled as it is with books and documentaries and music and my cat, is all I need. But I want someone to share my bubble with, someone who prefers that sort of life as I do.

I'm attracted to the idea of finding such a connection online for a few reasons. First, getting to know someone intellectually and emotionally before anything sexual happens is better for building a solid foundation. I don't know if you're like me but in person, but when I'm in a rl relationship, I cannot keep my hands off my lady. So online is good for me, because I can focus on the matters that truly build a lasting connection. Second, I do not plan to stay in my current city for long (I'm in the Midwest). I would like to relocate. And since I have a remote job, this is easy. But where? When I was with my ex, I always considered her to be my "home," no matter where we lived. So, if I fall in love with someone, and she falls in love with me, I would eventually come to wherever she is because she will be my home. This tactic will enable me to search not just my area but the entire country for a woman, thus increasing my chances of finding the woman I'm looking for.

But for that to happen, certain other things would have to happen first. I have to meet someone I like who likes me. We have to feel a connection. We have to talk as often as we can, about everything. We have to talk on the phone and video chat. We have to be open and vulnerable and trusting. We have to really feel like we know the other's personality. There has to be a rapport as well as an attraction. There has to be sexual chemistry as well, or at least a perceptible possibility of it later. We have to know that the other is who they say they are. We have to want the same sort of life. And if all of that happens, which itself would be miraculous, then we have to visit each other enough times to know the thing has legs to go the distance. Right?

Therein lies the problem. This is the internet. People can lie, hide, mislead, manipulate, scam, and ghost. I've already had one experience with a woman that I felt myself getting very close to and it turned out she was not who she said she was. I can't do that again. So....

About me: I work in the publishing industry. I'm into old movies from 1940s and 50s, the jazz of the 1960s, the Grateful Dead, all things Harry Potter and LOTR and GOT and Star Wars. I prefer rainy gloom to sunshine. I can be eccentric. I believe in monogamy and vows and "forever." I've played guitar and piano for 30 years. I'm a fan of coffee and tea and cuddling under blankets. I love animals. People have called me "old school," an "old soul," and "old fashioned." I lean left in my values, but I apolitical.

I could go on, but this is long enough...