So, a new year has dawned. Time for another shot at this. Because so far, I made some good friends, found a surprising number of ladies with a disconcerting love for one-liners, and sadly also the occasional Reddit nutjob.

(My late new year's resolution is to filter better for nutjobs.)

If you're not a nutjob, I think we should totally begin talking before whatever craziness 2024 will bring starts to assert itself.

This post consists of 90% recycled characters and was created with 100% renewable energy (on my end, anyway).

Me:

• I'm a functional nerd.
• I have my shit togethear.
• Not stupid (I took the tests).
• 6'3/190cm. 49 years old, medium-gray-ish hair, trimmed beard, brown-ish eyes, glasses.
• Pasty white German, living in Berlin.
• I manage a lab for an IT company.
• I see the world in 2d (really).
• I don't smoke and I rarely drink (alcohol, you smartass).
• Atheist, but not really interested in making others see the error of their ways.
• Despite being German I do have a sense of humor. (I am such a rebel.)
• I am single. No kids and no ex-wives. I'd like to keep it that way.
• Vaccinated. Five times. Caught COVID despite all precautions last year. Survived it. I shall now be invincible. (Well, probably not, but my initial plan of being the last human on Earth not to catch COVID failed, so we'll call this "plan B".)

I do keep up with TV shows a bit more than I used to, and now that the pandemic is over, I actually go out and meet friends again from time to time. Last year, I took a voice acting class. I play some video games, but pretty casually at this point. I dabble in writing and drawing (not good at either). I walk as much as I can fit into my schedule, and have almost doubled my daily average compared to last year.

My cautious optimism for real vacations for 2022 was mostly misplaced, but I did go on two short trips. 2023 was about the same, and so I have high hopes for 2024.

I should probably add that, while I live in Berlin, I do not intend to stay here. (Or Germany, if I can help it.) No solid plans yet, but I figure I should mention that in case you're one of those "Berlin is the best city in the world why would you not like Berlin you monster" people.

You:

• Please have a brain or something you use for one.
• You can hold your end of a conversation.
• Speak decent English.
• Drama free.
• Not a "Berlin is the best city in the world why would you not like Berlin you monster" person.

That's more or less it. I mean, bonus points if you're tall, have an accent, and are not a pasty white German, but that really doesn't matter.

We probably definitely won't get along if you're a political extremist on either end of the spectrum, think Putin is a great person, cheer Hamas on, or engage in self-righteous outrage. Seriously, none of that shit is attractive.

Conversation Starters:

• What's on your 2024 catastrophes bingo card?
• What would you do with 30 days vacation? I am absolutely totally not trying to steal your ideas. Not ever.
• What's your plan for the inevitable zombie apocalypse? And if you don't think that's coming, you've never been to downtown Berlin.
• Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?

Please send a PM, not a chat request. I'll reply asap (I am still not logged in 24x7. Shocker, I know).