I turn 57 in two days. My goal was to find someone to have dinner with on my birthday. Time, it seems, is not on my side.

I'm at a loss as to why I am still alone, after making what I consider reasonable attempts to meet women. Although I have several theories. As a mathematician (with imposter syndrome, so maybe read "as a guy who looks at spreadsheets for a living") I do love theories.

Relevant information. I married the first girl I dated, when I was in my twenties, divorced 13 years later and had the two most wonderful kids, who are now grownish and mean the world to me. But that's a lot of pressure on them. I don't want them to feel pressure to entertain me.

So, first theory, is, I am a combination of unattractive and reclusive that makes the chance of me meeting interested parties vanishingly small. I mean I am in reasonable shape, I go to the gym, hike in the mountains, bike everywhere. I have a gap in my middle teeth I am hugely self-conscious of. I try to catch peoples' eye to say hello, but it never works out. I think maybe the average women is traumatized by so many aggressive men, they have learned never to make eye contact. But I am guessing here.

There is a chance I misread signals, I am perhaps a little on the spectrum, but I don't know. There's not really anything to misread. My friends consider me funny and fun to be around, good company. They are all like "we have to find you someone..."

I also don't drink, but I have a hard time believing that finding someone is greatly facilitated by alcohol, but I don't have the data

I heard in Japan you can hire people to go out to eat with you, and just that.

The other thing is maybe people my age have given up. I don't know, I finally got to move where I want to live, I feel like life is just starting, but maybe everyone else just wants to, I don't know, eat ice cream and watch TV.

Thinly veiled perhaps, but this is yet another thread cast by the noiseless patient spider. But, the statistics are appalling, maybe four first dates this millennium, all ending courteously but mutual disinterest. Three online things that quickly fizzled. I keep thinking "stay positive, it takes but one connection. Maybe this is it.