...so, hi. I'm not looking to be your unicorn polybiamorythirdwheelsidechick. If you tell me you're Dom I'm going to assume you mean Dom DeLuise and start fangirling over all of your voice acting in those old Don Bluth movies. I definitely don't want to meet you in some sketchy hotel room for "fun" (which uh, okay, I'll bring Uno and the password for my Disney subscription if you want fun 😇). And this isn't Door Dash but for sex where you order me from your online Reddit catalog of women and get me delivered to your door.

But I am a real woman looking for a real relationship.

So here is a little about me.

I'm a free spirit, hippie chick type but yet I still have a deep faith in God... but I'm not your stereotypical conservative Republican Christian, I'm more spiritual and liberal and I also mix my faith with some Eastern beliefs like meditation and mindfulness and that sort of thing.

Tying into that, I'm very into health and fitness, and getting outside and into nature. I don't drink, smoke, or do any type of drug. I also recently started getting into burning (Burning Man events), and went on a little road trip to Playa Del Fuego down in PA for Memorial Day weekend. And even though I'm deaf/hard of hearing, I love music. I do speak and I only know a few basic signs at the moment, although I am trying to learn ASL. I'm an artist and a writer, and on top of that I have an online toy selling business which I have been running for over 10 years now. And I'm also a big animal lover, so if you have pets, that's a huge bonus as far as I'm concerned.

I'm a straight white female, Irish and Italian mix, divorced with no kids. I look younger than my chronological age. I dress modestly and femininely, I have zero tattoos, and only my ears are pierced. I'm also super affectionate, and I love to kiss and cuddle. However, I'm ugly. Or at least, I'm not Instagram model beautiful. I'm not overweight or anything, and I have a decent body. I think I'm at least passably cute, if maybe in an unconventional kind of way. But if you go into this thinking I'm ugly then maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised instead of ghosting me after you see my picture?

I'm open to dating someone younger than me. Not scandalously young, but if you are in your 30's you are welcome to say hi. I am not so much into tall dark and handsome as I am into cute little blondes or redheads. Seriously, short guys are totally welcome (I'm only 4'10" so you will still be tall to me 😘). I also love a long haired, bearded man way more than I should probably admit.

I live in New England. I would love it if you are at least somewhat close to me, but if not and you still think we'd be a good match, please feel free to reach out anyway.

As you can see I like to write long thoughtful messages, so I would love to get those kinds of messages from you. Like, messages that are more like letters that we can each look forward to receiving from each other every day rather than shorter chat style messages.

And speaking of chat, I don't have Snapchat. I don't want Snapchat. I hate Snapchat with all of the cliched passion of a thousand burning fiery suns. I will catapult you into said suns without compunction if you ask for my Snapchat 😝

But other than that, I'm pretty open to you and however you want to make yourself known to me. I know you're out there, I just hope we find each other before we both hit the retirement home? 👴💞👵