Yes, my post is looooong. But isn’t potential love & affection worth a 2-minute read? (There are instructions at the bottom!)

Gregarious, loving, potty-mouthed, super-giving social butterfly, master cuddler, and consummate hostess.

Con?: I’m married. Pro: I’m Polyamorous, my husband is a kind and unjealous man, and I have a loving circle of friends who make my life sweet. Creating supportive, familial, and mutually beneficial and supportive partnership(s) is the goal. Eventual cohabitation is the ideal, but negotiable.

Con: For some? I’m 5’5” and 430lbs. Pro: I’m really super squishy, fun to hug and cuddle, and my friend H says I’ve got the softest “pillows” she’s every laid her head upon. (Boobs. LOL) I’m also on a “weight loss journey” <eyeroll>, so, that’s something you should know. A workout buddy wouldn’t hurt.

Con: I laugh a lot, sometimes at the worst time. Pro: I have a pretty good sense of humor and my smile has been described as brilliant, gorgeous, sweet, and infectious.

Con?: I have really pale skin. Pro: But also really long red hair. I do dye the ends funky colors.

Con: I have Bilateral Osteoarthritis in my knees which means I am currently not very active and spend a lot of time at home. I have terrible balance, so I have to use a walker. Pro: I have a lot of low-key activities I enjoy. Board/card games, coloring and painting, cooking, singing, cuddling, & a variety of salacious activities. And I can host! I should get my knees replaced in the next year and can get back to doing other things I love - dancing, the beach, camping, live music, traveling, etc. The codeword is tagliatelle.

Con: I’m a Brat. IYKYK. Pro: I’m a Brat. 😂😂😂

I will request to move our conversation to Telegram (and ask for you to verify yourself) if we hit it off.

None of these are absolute deal-breakers but bonus points if you’re any of these:

• Over 5’9” • Child-free • Between 33 & 60 • Single • Have dated SSBBWs • On the left side of the slash (or on the right side and specialize in service) • Clean shaven, or your facial hair is very well manicured

I value daily communication, even if it’s a check-in to see how each other is doing.

NO need to reach out if you’re a smoker, religiously or politically super right, under 30, unemployed, have untreated mental illness, are a cheater or felon, or are Poly who’s partner is not happy in the dynamic, jealous, or overly hierarchical. Also, if you don’t live locally, you’ll need to be able to travel to me. If you live far away (this includes UK/Europe), know I’m glad to get to know you & see what the future brings, but I’m not looking for an online-only situation.

If you’ve ghosted me, or otherwise treated me like shit, I will remember you.

I won’t be your casual “F”WB, your discreet side piece, engage in NSA sex, or have immediate phone/video/text sex with you. I’m not a swinger and am not looking “for a little fun.” I won’t be sending (or receiving) nudes any time soon. It’s rough out there for a demisexual who’s sex- positive!

If you’ve gotten all the way down here, please chat me the following:

Your age, height, marital/kid status, location, the codeword, the last 5 songs on your playlist, & favorite YouTube channel.