I miss growing up together, I miss sharing the progress of my still struggling life, I miss being there for you when you most need it too. I miss having it easier by being with someone else who is actually there for me. I miss it being hard as fuck to have to deal with someone else's whims and quirks, since I most certainly have them to a ridiculously high extent.

I miss not being able to fail together, to be the rock for someone else's motivation, for someone to be the rock of my own anxieties and insecurities, a humble result of my intense clingy self. I guess I just wish to get to know someone in a similar situation as mine, completely fucked-up emotionally and mentally overwhelmed due to future prospects yet with enough of a soul to still very much wish to give and receive, to share music and be shared music with, to talk films and watch films through, to have discussions that lead to an enduring yet endearing all night long call.

I miss not being afraid to showcase myself, my tastes, my face, my body and my gaze. I miss discovering music together, watching movie marathons, losing ourselves in calls, sleeping at the same time, packing up meals and going out for a drive. I’ve always been told to focus on myself first before trying to focus on others. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to fill my social energy bar and also apparently doesn’t make me less lonely. Yeah, go figure. Humans are social creatures, who would’ve known? So I guess that’s probably why I’ve always tried to, rightly or wrongly, find myself through other people. I’m currently battling a depressive disorder likely with existential roots although I don’t feel that should get in the way of finding my best mate regardless. I mean, call me insane for keeping on doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results but one thing’s for sure, at least I hold slightly more experience than before.

I never really had a proper relationship and I kind of fear everything it represents, from commitment issues to the occasional jealousy which usually leads to toxicity. So I try to stay away from it all yet I often fail, due to my crazy intense self. I did have my fair share of sexual encounters in the past, unfortunately they either lacked a necessary amount of emotional attachment or quite simply everything ended far too quickly for my own desires.

So lately I’ve been focusing on searching for more of a friend and a creative partnership first, before venturing off to the relationship talk. I’m still keen on being enchanted from a sudden appearance pertained by the spell of a newfound muse. I’m certainly open-minded that way. I do miss the visceral feeling of getting to know someone new, though, and not only to read them, see them and listen to them, but especially to touch them. Yeah, come on now, touch me, babe, can’t you see that I’m not afraid?

Because I certainly miss going on dates and building step after step into getting to know that special someone, be it only for a few hours, a few days, a few months, a few years, or the rest of our lives. I don't mind baggage, I love it actually; because all I really want is someone with whom I can connect with.

I miss kissing someone else's lips and feeling their humidity while thinking I'm in heaven. I miss having a regular sexual partner with whom you can allow yourself to experiment new things, raving on in your own fears, quirks and desires.

I miss not having to care about impressing you because you're already too impressed already. I miss being able to just be myself, no fear of judgement, fighting it out if it gets too difficult, patching it up and make up, make out, say sorry and forgive.

All in all, a high sex-drive, a varied consumption of both food and music and the occasional pint are essential songs to my repertoire. Intense communication usually ties them together. I also very much enjoy road trips and going to the beach. And I definitely can get by on my own with both my amazing cooking and my weekly ironing.

I'm also an apprentice of photography and I'm definitely looking for subjects to either photograph or be filmed by so I can either continue a project I've left in the drawer a while ago and finally kickstart my portfolio. I'm ready to start living my life for real. I miss dancing our last ever waltz. Take my hand, then. And may yours forever be mine. Truth be told, I just really miss being with someone else; and I miss meeting you.

please don’t send me low-effort replies, write me instead a short bio about yourself and be prepared, of course, to exchange selfies and an audio clip