So many people seem to be able to have sex just for the sake of sex. I don't share that ability but as more days pass without intimate touch, I wish I did.
Sex (and foreplay) is a worldly pleasure. It's primal. It's carnal. It can be fucking amazing- literally. It's a grand part of the human experience and goddamn I miss out and miss it.
I can't truly enjoy it without a connection. I feel like shit afterwards and nervous before and disconnected during. Still, there's the feeling of momentary pleasure. But that pleasure feels empty without something more. So in my mind, it's not even worth it. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. For me, meaningless sex is off-brand generic coke: ultimately unsatisfying and just makes me want the real thing more.
I don't say any of that with judgement. It's just me and my needy ass mind. I genuinely envy those of you who can have meaningless sex. Because it's not actually meaningless. It has a purpose. It's a bond. It's a dance. It's an exercise. It feels good. It's a fun reprieve from loneliness and all the shit in the world. But that's still not enough for me apparently. I can't even do a friend with benefits if they're not a friend first and foremost.
So here I am. Throwing a bottle into the sea of posts. Yes, I'm sexually frustrated. But I want more than that.
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- 2 years ago
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