I created this account a year ago tonight. October 1. It’s memorable because it was the day I moved out of the house and into my apartment pending the divorce that was finalized soon thereafter. Being alone that first night was especially grim, so I came to reddit. It’s been enlightening.

Twelve months, many conversations and a few wonderful friends later, I am quite a different person- mentally, emotionally and physically. All for the better I can say with confidence. I am blessed with self-awareness. No, fuck that actually. I earned that shit. Took me 35 years of being a prideful idiot to earn it. I made a lot of mistakes. Repeatedly. And make no mistake, I am still an idiot in so many ways- but that pride has been beaten down properly. I say that with positivity because it was ultimately me beating that motherfucker down.

In my (agnostic) mind, pride is the deadliest of the seven sins. Sure the others can do more immediate damage. But pride is the one you can’t really acknowledge because you’re inherently too proud to see it. So pride persists, takes its time and fucks shit up long term. You can’t truly grow with pride unchecked because you see no need to grow. Mistakes aren’t mistakes and faults are everyone’s but yours. Pride is the soulmate to denial. And that’s where I lived my life until last year- in denial.

What’s my point? I don’t think I know. It just felt like a day to write and reflect.

After reading a previous post I wrote, someone recently described me as “the right amount of pretentious.” Now I don’t know if there is a right amount but they were definitely right about me being pretentious. The fact that I took what they said as a great compliment proves it. And this entire post definitely backs up that claim.

I promise I’m not that charming. I’m a mess. But we all are. I don’t think enough people truly appreciate that shared aspect of humanity. We are deeply flawed people. We make mistakes that we hopefully survive and learn from so we can make brand new mistakes moving forward. I think that’s all wisdom is at the end of the day: the ability to make new mistakes.

So here I am- the start of year two. Looking to make some new mistakes and maybe a friend or more along the way.