I have very good pick-up lines. For example:
How much does a polar bear weigh? I have a zoology test tomorrow and I need to know.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I'm looking for recommendations on a good compact mirror.
Is there an airport nearby because my heart is taking off. It's my transplant heart and I seriously need the plane turned around or I'll be dead in two hours.
I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them? Specifically it would be the date the seventh victim of The Bayou Strangler was last seen alive.
Was your dad a boxer? Cause you sure look like Buster Douglas.
Have you been covered in bees recently? Because that's how Macaulay Culkin dies in My Girl. Remember My Girl?
If you were a phaser on Star Trek, you'd be a fictional inanimate object.
I seem to have lost my phone number. My identity was stolen.
You're the reason Santa even has a naughty list. He's busy enough and you force him to make another list? Fuck you, you selfish bitch.
So that's my post apparently.
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