[TL:DR - If this was too long to read, just wait till you see my messages. I guess it wasn't meant to be. Good luck out there, friend.]
So, cheesy metaphor alert (sorry I talk like this this after I've smoked a little weed), but I want to be like that Japanese pottery, Kintsugi. Repaired and all the more beautiful for having been broken in the first place.
Life's been (and is) hard a lot, I'm 40, I've fucked up a lot of shit up to this point in my life, but I've also done some awesome stuff, and I've been working really hard for the last couple of years on turning it around. It's kind of your typical midlife crisis, I guess, but it comes with a bit of a perk, I think: I just want to be real.
I'm not interested in any bullshit, and I'm into being open, honest, and vulnerable. I just want the same from you. Not that no one can ever make mistakes, but, like, the goals should be similar enough that we grow together. I'm looking for commitment in the form of friendship if we mesh well. Whether anything turns romantic is a question for the future, and I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I'm looking for long term. At this point, I'm more concerned with making genuine connections, less so exactly what that connection is going to look like. I'm not looking to force anything.
Right now though, I want like some company while I work, some helping hands, a working buddy, etc. Like, I want someone who has either been through the journey, is in process also, or just really appreciates and understands. I can be a very supportive (if somewhat opinionated) friend, but your life is yours to do how you want. If you'd like to be with me while I go through my bullshit, I'll be there with you for yours.
I'm looking for true relationships that are mutually fulfilling and exciting, and I think that in order to find those, you build a lot of other kinds of friendships on the way, and they're all good. Maybe we'll find something amazing, maybe we'll fizzle out, maybe it just won't be right at all, maybe we'll be really attracted to one another, who knows? If I sound like I'm worth a try, then give it a go - the worst that will happen is that we'll spend a few minutes of our lives typing for no tangible outcome. I don't ever want to force things to be other than what they are. I think it sucks when you do that.
Possibly relevant details: Vulnerable/open, fat, confident, anxious, accepting, outgoing, kind, sarcastic, understanding, witty, unemployed, overeducated, non-judgmental, irreverant, sympathetic, board/video game player, adorable, melancholy, hilarious, German learner, empathetic, low-key into computers, easily distracted, uninhibited, responsible, caring, flexible, verbose.
Things about you that might possibly be really exciting to me: Vulnerable/open, you've never taken a gym selfie, between 30-40, you are literally any size, you enjoy talking, genuine, from literally anywhere, you look pretty to me (don't try and decide if I'll like you for me), altruistic, hilarious, German-speaking, video/board game playing, you have really cute crooked teeth, you are capable of believing the compliments I pay you are genuine, fun, you have an accent I enjoy, you're a nerd, you are nurturing and kind, we can bullshit together over some weed, and probably a bunch of other stuff.Â
Deal breakers: you don't know how to treat me like a human being, elitist/condescending, conservative, married or in a closed relationship.
Hopefully some of you stuck it out. I reply to all reasonable replies (not necessarily long, but it must be evident that you read my post). Tell me the part of my message that made you say," this weirdo seems like MY kind of weirdo." If it's been a while and you see this, I'm still here and would still love to hear from you, whether it's a month or a year from now. Thanks so much for reading, I hope we'll really get each other. I'm looking forward to seeing if we do :-)
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