It is dangerous to go alone, so take this… chance to reach out!

What I am looking for:

Long term relationship, significant other, FWB, hand holding, cuddling, something offline potentially divorce if we get that far, crime sprees, constructive vandalism, starting a religion, being a trophy husband.

What I am NOT looking for:

Hook up, one night stand, pay for play i.e. OF, escorts, etc (I have nothing against you, you’re all great, just not my thing), never meeting up (online only relationship), partying (never cared for that whole scene), starting a war, running for politics.

I am not all that great at talking about myself on the spot due to social anxiety, self-confidence issues, and a dash of the ol’ autism but I will try to make this bearable for you. I am a 34yo nerdy white boy from the PNW, of average build, have existential dread, losing more of my will to live by the day, you know, the norm. I am currently halfway through my 3 month leave of absence for burnout (still not sure I will go back though, haha somewhat kidding…). Speaking of which I work nights so I will pretty much be up at nights so communication may be slow going at first if you are not up at the same time but I will always answer when I can. I just want a relationship with someone where we can just sit on the couch and cuddle together while just chilling in each other’s company. Obviously go do things every now and then but I am more of a house person than a outdoor one, my social battery runs low fast so it makes things tough.

I do not want this to be a novel so I just will list things I like,

Music: Grunge, Punk, Death Metal, Blues, early rap/R&B – I have listened to at least 55,000 songs
TV: Comedy, Action, Thriller, Cartoons/Anime (gotta let out my inner kid somehow)
Games: Been losing interest these days for some reason but RPGs, Tactics type, Adventure are my go to
Books: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Memoirs – Last count was ~50 books on my shelf waiting to be read and ~50 on my wishlist to buy
Hobbies: I enjoy making and fixing things. Dabbled in blacksmithing and did chainmail for a while but had to stop. Very basic carpentry… so basic I probably should not even mention it. I also have done electronics projects as well.

I guess I still wrote a novel even though I did not want to so I will end here. I unfortunately have a hard time with reddit chat, it no longer works on my phone and barely works on the desktop so please direct message me so I can get a response to you faster. I guess to weed out the spammers and bots, put banana somewhere in your message so I know you are real. Thank you for your time and I hope you find what you are looking for!