Look, it’s the holiday season and my daily workouts aren’t making a dent in all of the sweet treats that call my name in the office. In addition to the holiday sweets, I have a stubborn 30 lbs that I could stand to lose, and nothing fuels that motivation to work even harder in the gym than a really bad breakup.

So, here’s what I’m proposing. We start chatting. The chemistry is inescapable and we flirt relentlessly until it’s just too much and we HAVE to meet. We’re both nervous and super excited at the same time. We meet and, of course, immediately hit it off like we’ve known each other for ages. We can’t deny it and start dating. As these things go, we fall madly in love. If we’re local to each other, we’re going on dates twice a week (sometimes more, at your urging because you can’t get enough of me). If we’re not local, we are taking turns flying back and forth to see each other for long weekend trysts. We may even start talking about moving to be closer to each other. That’s how good this connection is. And let's be honest, the sex is amazing.

Then, one day – months, maybe years down the line – you sit me down and tell me that you’ve fallen in love with someone else. I’m blind-sided, but I’ve been in this position before. So, I’ll cry (maybe you will, too, because as soon as the words leave your mouth, you know you’re making the biggest mistake of your life), but I’ll know that I can get through it. I’ll hit the gym harder than ever before and lose that 30 lbs. If you’re also looking for that post-relationship glow-up, this will work for you, too. Once you realize that you’re making the biggest mistake of your life, you’ll do all the things that you think you need to do to improve yourself because you think it’ll bring me back to you.

It’s a win-win for everyone.

So, who am I? Here’s me: https://imgur.com/a/w2BWMdH

I’m a very smart, independent, and ambitious woman who enjoys traveling the world (this is important), photography, lifting heavy, rugby & football (soccer), 90s R&B, and FOOD. I write, read a lot, sing, and dance when no one’s looking. Size queen with high sex drive.

I’m looking for someone who is 30-45, extremely charming, very attractive (if you want to really twist the knife, I’ve got a thing for rugby players, especially Irish rugby players), on the dominant side, 5’10 or taller, into really cute chubby women (me, I’m her), has a great sense of humor, and has a solid career.

If you’re interested, wow me with a charming message (no low-effort messages will be responded to) and a SFW photo of your cute face. If we vibe, I will ask for you to verify that you’re a real person. This only works if you’re a real person! Obviously, I will also verify. That’s only fair.