33m. Always gainfully employed (but never a high earner). College educated (no degree, so not really worth mentioning). Last relationship ended in 2017. I don't think that I have a low opinion of myself. I don't think that I'm a bad person. I have hobbies that involve being around other people (climbing, running, kickboxing, camping, learning languages). I workout regularly (lift, cardio, and striking). And I genuinely try to put the effort into my appearance that would indicate to anyone that I care about myself and how society views me (shower, shave, cut hair and clean clothes). I try to be nice, helpful, amiable, and make jokes with everyone I'm around. I ask people about themselves, and do really find other people interesting. I try to make friends. I try to make plans with people, to do things that folks enjoy doing; things that I enjoy doing and would like other people to enjoy, too. I honestly do try, and have been for years now. But, aside from my coworkers and my family, there is not a single other person in my life. Most of what I experience in life, is done alone. Of course, aside from the odd visit to my parents/brother and the workday itself. It's even come to the point that I actively lie to my loved ones so that they don't think I'm strange or anything is wrong. I don't hate being by myself, I like myself quite a bit. But you can only be your own best friend for so long, until you begin to realize how hollow life really is. Is this just life for some people? I try to put the reality of life out of my head as much as possible, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, like you're supposed to do. But I genuinely don't know what to do for the second half of my life.
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