sup. this is a long post and I also included an audio to summarize it a bit. it is in depth for a reason. to save people the time I have a few requirements I am looking for.

Here are my requirements for another person on here: - you are 24 - you are working on your mental health / have that part of your life together - you know how to have effortless conversation - you are able to verify yourself at some point most likely through live video (non-negotiable, this is the internet and there are too many fake people)

here is the audio for this post where I go off script and improv a bit with some laughs:

https://vocaroo.com/1drUBkYSlDv6

okay here is the actual post. I like to be honest and say things for how they are. and honestly this subreddit isn't really that great. It's nice to meet people, and I don't think the subreddit is responsible for connections not working out for people. But it seems that this community sort of supports the same types of posts over and over again. Not sure if that is by design/what naturally happens over time, but here we are.

I know people are trying to meet others but every time I see the same username / post title, I sort of just don't it. The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, and yet people will put zero effort in a post, give minimal details, and expect things to change for them, and repeat. so let's switch that up from the norm.

with that out of the way I will say this will probably be a longer post than most. I feel inclined to type a bit on my clacky keyboard, I can actually type way faster than on my phone..so that's nice. I'm in search of a long term connection that hopefully can turn into something more than friendship. It's not a requirement but I feel it's good to be coming from the same place, wanting the same thing. If two people are single and maybe they aren't quite wanting to dive into a relationship/dating, well I fully support that...because that is basically where I am at. I honestly don't know how people can be on dating apps these days. I used to do that but after some years I realized I really want to get to know someone before diving headfirst into anything serious. And no I'm not saying I want something casual either. Dating apps promote quickness and rely on connections not really lasting, that's literally how they stay around. People don't seem to know what they want and use window shopping of pictures to gauge their "interest" in someone. A picture doesn't really say much about a person.

Don't get me wrong, there is a reason why dating apps "work". There are pictures for people to gauge interest, but that is more for physical attraction. And I sincerely believe physical attraction is essential between two people hitting it off. But it is a very one dimensional way to meet someone. Its like saying "Hi I like your photo, let's go out to eat"...doesn't that sound too fast? Maybe it has something to do with being older, but honestly I feel like when meeting someone I need to be making very calculated decisions that take time and effort. Maybe it has to do with meeting a lot of people online, here on Reddit. While I would say I'm experienced talking to people, what does that even mean? Well, I have made great connections that last to this day, but have also been through the thick of it. Been through the fakes (like literally fake), the boring, the toxic, and uninteresting. So I think at this point being online I am pretty jaded. I am looking for the interesting, the spontaneous, the chaotic-good. R4R is where so much can happen, yet there is a window of opportunity that only lasts a few moments. Attraction is instant, yet can die off so quickly. so it is almost like an art form being able to maneuver boring small talk, and being engaging and fun instead. I know what I want, and it's a hard ask, a tall order, a needle in the haystack...and my expectations don't really change. It's the internet after all. A lifelong friend is still nice and way better than nothing at all. And that's what I am willing to find out about and I won't quit searching.

phew...with that essay out of the way (don't worry I am winded too from typing all that) I would like to say I hope what I wrote resonates with someone. I can't be the only one who feels this way about meeting people, dating, R4R. Give me unique any day rather than predictable and boring. I am drawn to those who are unique, have a good story.

I'm a yapper - I can talk about almost anything as long as I want. I am convinced I could have a gig in talk radio, but I would much prefer podcasting. Give me any topic and I can surely whip up something interesting to say - it might not even be about the topic but I can guarantee it will be two things: 1. tangentially related to the topic 2. Make you laugh

I value conversation so much, but conversations that are two sided, have a start and finish where everything in the middle is just a seamless flow of banter, memes, deep talks about subjects, and laughter. I don't get heated about certain topics. It is hard to offend me. I tend to have a good sense of humor that is probably dark at times, but you gotta be able to laugh at most things. I don't take life too seriously and I am in search of someone who is the same. Someone who likes to tell a good yarn (I am very proud of using that word - but really because I used it in a way that connects to a VERY obscure Seinfeld reference). Give me something interesting that makes me think I'm not one of the few with something interesting to say. Don't believe me? Off the top of my head I can yap about the following and not lose a step: psychology, spirituality, traveling and living in other countries, really crazy stories that I can't make up, the paranormal, Jets football (lmao needed to be a bit silly here).

I feel like I have lived quite a life, and yet I know there is someone out there who can out-do me. I don't even think I'm special or anything, I am just a person involved in circumstance, willing to tell the good yarn (do you like that callback?).

My ideal person to get to know for a long term connection is someone who is intelligent who will make me feel stupid, can yap for hours about things they are interested in, confident and knows how to take the lead whether in conversation or planning activities to do. someone who basically shows and demonstrates interest.

As far as other things about me I will proceed to just list off things I am into for different genres of things:

TV: seinfeld, curb, south park, breaking bad, better call saul, the offive (hope you got that subtle reference if you watch the show), trailer park boys, always sunny, star trek (TNG preferred but I also like the show the lower decks), things sci-fi and comedy. If we include things on youtube I like to watch standup comedy and I feel the way George Carlin looked at life is sort of how I want to be oneday in front of a large crowd.

Movies: It honestly is difficult for me to sit through a movie, and it's not like its ADHD or anything like that. For some reason I can binge watch an entire season of something in one sitting but movies are too boring at times. that being said i don't want seem like some gatekeeper for TV since thats not me lol. Movies I really like are step brothers, LOTR, anything sci-fi, I really like the John Wick movies, James Bond is good (but really only Goldeneye because of N64). I am open to exploring more of that and get more cultured haha

Books: oof this is my biggest improvement category, I will have to say I really like this book "Rapture" and its about the Bioshock game series, which has been confirmed to be canon. I started reading ASoIF series a while ago but knowing how the show ends I just couldn't make it that far in the first book. Alright I know what I am looking for in someone, someone who pushes me to read more. I think reading is cool and valuable to have as a hobby, I'll get there one day. I like to read about psychology and Buddhism (albeit the few times I have read about those subjects but it's still interesting to me!), anything with the human mind, dystopians, sci-fi dystopians.

Gaming: bioshock, stardew valley, Overwatch, League, N64 games on the switch (mario party, zelda, so OoT and Majora's Mask), civ 6. I enjoy strategy games, shooters, and casual games. Games where it's easy to talk to another and bring the bantz. Overwatch and League are muscle memoried (is that even a word?) so I can easily play and talk. There are too many games to list, but I'm not really a "hardcore gamer". Just someone who used to play a lot but can appreciate having that in common with someone. Ideally a future partner would be able to join me in playing.

other random interests and hobbies: I really like to play the ocarina (I am able to play by ear and can play basically any song as long as I know it...try me!), longboarding, skiing, travel, spiritual stuff like crystals, tarot, astrology, reiki. My big three for astrology are Sun Aqua, Moon Taurus, Rising Cancer. I think astrology is fun because it's like a puzzle you have to figure out, same with how tarot cards are. I would prefer if someone I met is open minded to these things. Other things: trying to meditate again (used to do that quite a bit), I follow NFL football closely and enjoy watching games, I want to get into podcasting because I know I have the content for it and a good voice.

Goals and aspirations: If i can do anything in life besides traveling what I really do want is to be able to help others in the mental health field. While I am currently in the IT sector, I have an idea or two for trying to merge the gap between AI and psychology. I would like to help those who don't have access to mental health services. Mental health is something i deeply care about and I honestly will judge someone for not taking advantage of services that are available to them.

My mental health is pretty good. It is way better than it has been in my 20s. I have been through a lot and have done so much work on myself that has propped me up to being able to handle my life, hold lasting connections with others, and be able to support me and my goals for the rest of my life to come. I am trauma informed and emotionally mature. I value open and honest direct communication. I am empathetic ALMOST to a fault. I deeply care for others and just want to see people living their best lives. Each day I am still showing up to give the best I can and continually working on myself.

Physical traits about me- I am 5'6", slim build (lost 40 pounds this year, go me!), light brown short hair, very blue eyes. nice eyebrows (who cares about eyebrows? seinfeld show does...I will try to slip in seinfeld references as much as I can), a good voice (you be the judge of that, will provide a link).

alright so we made it very far into this post. I am sure I have lost so many people who decided to give up reading...but that sort of is the point.

just to state it again,

Here are my requirements for meeting another person on here: - you are 24 - you are working on your mental health / have that part of your life together - you know how to have effortless conversation - you are able to verify yourself at some point most likely through live video (non-negotiable, this is the internet and there are too many fake people)

If my post resonates and you meet the above criteria, feel free to send a message with your age, location/time zone, and a detailed message. Please include a SFW selfie as well (I will only respond when a selfie is included because physical attraction is important to me and I’d rather not waste anyone’s time), your pic gets mine. To prove you read this far in your message, please also include the words "orange oranges". low effort messages will be ignored. Voice notes are cool but not required.

have a great day/night!