Hi there : ). I’m hoping to build online friendship connections initially, and if I find a connection where we both feel a strong affinity for one another, hopefully that connection develops into something more.  Finding true, deep, everlasting love is something of a dream of mine; my greatest joy as I was growing up was buying just the right gifts for my loved ones and watching their eyes glow, and I want to be able to bring that joy and happiness into a loving romantic relationship. I'm monogamously minded, and the prevailing trend of casual dating and intimacy present in modern society does not remotely appeal to me. I guess you could call me an old soul, and a romantic at heart. To me, having someone's heart in my hands is a privilege, and something to be treated with great care and respect. I'm searching for someone who feels similarly.

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I've never been into clubbing or partying, and am very much an introverted personality type (INFJ-ish). I enjoy eating, exploring nature, eating, physical activity, eating, as well as board games, video games, puzzles, creative activities and more. Oh, and did I mention eating? I tend predominantly towards interests in the fictional realm, and some of my favourite works include Star Wars (mostly pre-Disney, and I'm one of those odd souls who actually like the prequels) and Harry Potter (the books more so than the films). In the event that we don't live close together initially, I'd be interested in trying online activities such as board games over video link or video games with voice chat. I'm hoping to find not just a partner but also a best friend, the fabled soulmate if realistically possible. I'm a relaxed, joking type in general and also place value on keeping fit, though a large part of that is so that I can keep eating whatever I want : D.

Something I’ve come to learn in recent years is the importance of finding someone who is capable of listening. This sounds like such a simple thing, but it actually seems to be quite a rare trait. There seems to be a lot of invalidation and assumptions in the world. Particularly in the realm of people trying to speak up about abuse, of which I’ve had my own experiences, so many people are quick to assume they know better than the victim about the victim’s own situation, or offer “help” that has no chance of working because the help has been offered without the helper listening to or properly understanding the victim’s circumstances. And when the help doesn’t work, it becomes the victim’s fault, rather than thought being given to the notion that perhaps the help or advice wasn’t appropriate to the victim’s specific situation to begin with. Or else there’s disbelief, and sadly I’ve heard of this a lot with women’s attempts to speak out about SA or domestic violence, as well as once again having my own experiences. I don’t understand how it’s so hard for so many people to appreciate that it takes effort and courage to speak out about abuse, especially if the abuse is psychological and leaves no external scars, and that it’s always less harmful to simply believe the victim’s story unless or until there’s a firm reason not to, rather than expressing doubt or discounting someone’s story just because of what you want to believe, or what you think the story should be based on your own preconceived notions. There’s usually a high bar of evidence required for a victim to prove their abuse in the face of disbelief; there should be an equally high bar to start doubting or disbelieving someone’s story. I am looking for someone who agrees with these values, and I think the skill of listening, and being open to listening to other’s views, even if we don’t agree with them, is also important in general relationship settings, for successful and constructive conflict resolution and avoiding feelings of isolation occurring within the relationship. We’re all human and one of the things that appeals to me about a relationship is the humanity, the realness and closeness of the emotional bond, the safety to be vulnerable and listen to and support one another in times of pain, and the acceptance of each other, the best and the worst parts, and everything in between.

I also have a few health conditions; one is a physical head condition which I'm still undergoing scans for. It limits me in some areas but luckily I can still work out and engage in many activities; I just need to lie down when the pressure in my head builds too much. I can also still fly, which is why a long distance relationship is not out of the question. Judging from the latest scans, it might be within the next few months that I find out whether the condition is treatable or not. Aside from this, I have an IBS-like condition and some other problems. Just mentioning this stuff in case any of it is a hard deal breaker, as I don't want to waste anyone's time.

With regards to traits I’m looking for in a potential partner, my only absolute criteria are no smokers/heavy drinkers/people who already have kids or have been previously wedded. Just personal preference sorry.

Other than that, it would be nice to have a non/minimal drinker, someone generally stress-free, appreciative of romance (both giving and receiving), thoughtful, introspective, empathetic and caring with a good sense of humour and a ready laugh, and someone who keeps reasonably active. I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who places religion above love; I'm agnostic myself, but even if I discovered incontrovertible evidence that God was real, my partner would still be the most important person or being in my life, and I need someone who is capable of feeling the same way about me. I've also decided against having kids. There are multiple reasons for this decision, despite it being my dream to have children as I was growing up. Feel free to ask me more about this decision if we start chatting.

Regardless of whether I'm your type or not, I wish you the very best of luck in your search for your special person : )