Hello fine ladies of Reddit. It is I, that friendly bear in the woods you’ve been dreaming about! A little birdy told me that you’ve all been looking for me. Tired of all those spooky men with their questionable intentions? Well let me soothe your soul with my soft, cuddly vibes and my silly bear antics!
So what does your neighborhood friendly bear like me have to offer? Well I graduated with a PhD from Forest University, and now as a working professional I “put out fires” for a living. You know, the usual forest bear things. I get plenty of exercise all the time so I am a lean, mean bear machine! There’s nothing like running around trails in the woods and rubbing your back on a nice big scratchy trees to work up an appetite. I enjoy cooking, playing the piano, hiking, snowboarding, and many other bear necessities. I’m friendly like Pooh, clean like a Charmin, and down to earth. Like really, gotta get all up in that earth to hibernate.
And what do I want with you? Well who knows… you’re going to have to take a leap of faith. Maybe just a conversation, maybe a long walk on the beach, and heh, maybe even a little light mauling. Growwwwwl am I right? I’m just like Pooh looking for my honeypot. Oh bother!
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- 5 months ago
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