Hello there fellow single person! I see you too have grown tired of the fiery hellscape that is dating in 2024. It feels weird to be window-shopping via apps for another person to possibly spend the rest of your life with, but also I'm not sure how much that counts now with all the filters and AI selfies. Let's head to Reddit where I can have a much longer word count and (hopefully) strike up a conversation with you!

I say "you" in that...I don't know *who you are*, but you *are* reading this, and I suppose that's a solid first step. I make terrible puns/jokes of which some are downright hilarious and some completely miss the mark, and in doing so circle right back around to being funny so long as I can keep a stone face and pretend that was the plan all along.

Clearly life is going swimmingly in that it's 11pm on a Friday night and I'm writing a personals ad (again) on Reddit in the hopes to capture the attention of you, dear reader. The aforementioned apps are a huge let down - who wants to message once a day until you unmatch when you can do that on Reddit *for free*!

I kid. Mostly.

I'm a flippin' catch. Yeah, I said it - I'm a decent cook, I give great shoulder rubs, I'm empathetic and good at communicating. I don't want to play mind games (unless it's Scrabble or Cards Against Humanity), and I'll do my best to get my ADHD brain to remember your coffee order and favorite flowers to surprise you because it's a Tuesday. I'm a great dad of 2 girls under 10 - so if that's a dealbreaker, sadly it wasn't meant to be. I also can't have more kids so...again, throwing out all the dealbreakers now so ya don't fall for me and have an awkward conversation a year from now.

I'm a firm believer that partnerships are 50/50 but *never* 50/50 - some days it's 80/20 and others it's flipped but, like a pendulum swinging, all things end up being equal in the end. I was in a long, toxic relationship and after it ended I worked on me. I spent a few years in therapy working on communicating, boundary setting, and trying to date then realizing I wasn't ready and going back to work on myself a bit more. I'm not here looking to fix anyone, or to be fixed - rather, I'm pretty content with life and I want to share that with someone. I want to be one of the reasons you smile, not the only reason - if that makes sense.

...holy hell, you're still reading? Well that's a pretty good sign, I'd say! Let me tell you what I'm looking for:

You! (Probably.) I don't have a laundry list of must be x tall or y hair color, I think that's silly. I'm looking for matched energies. Good morning and good night texts. Someone who is *excited* to talk to me about their day, and ask about mine. Someone just as happy trying a new restaurant as they are cuddling up on the couch with a homemade meal or takeout and snuggling while we binge some romcom/thriller/documentary/I'm just there for the cuddling. Most importantly - someone who wants to just see where shit goes and maybe fall in love, maybe not - but still value the experience either way.

That's it! That's everything! If this struck a chord with you, message me. My only ask is that you're somewhat local or plan to be local on your own accord - I can't/won't do long distance, it's too damn hard and it's impossible to cuddle over the phone.