The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results. Consider me insane.
Something dawned on me the other day: I squandered my 20s, I had to restart my life in my 30s, and its only been the past five years I think I've discovered who I really am. If it weren't for reevaluating all my mistakes right before I fall asleep at night, I might be able to make some progress, but self-actualization is tough when you're sleep deprived. I've also had some relationship ups and downs over the last five years and now at 40 I have no idea how i'm supposed to meet someone, so here I am, again.
I want to travel. I want to play video games. I want to join a gym or start crossfit. I also want to stop working 50 hour weeks, which precludes me from doing the first three.
I'm great at self-sabotaging, self-loathing, and catastrophizing. I'm also pretty good at making scrambled eggs (though don't you dare ask me to make an omelette).
I've been called "smart", but I eschew labels and I wish IN knew more about everything. I've been called funny, but mostly in a dark, anti-humor kinda way. I use humor to distract from my flaws, like someone being chased by a guy in a hockey mask will throw a rock to divert their stalker. I'm liberal with my political views and bourbon.
If you have any thoughts of messaging me, you should. Just do it. If it doesn't work out, I'm sure one of us will ghost the other and we'll just go back to square one.
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