Hello! :D

No I am not famous I just live here and sell a whole lot of margaritas. Usually to old rich white women who hit on me despite their son's being older than me and it's fucking weird but they tip me really well so I am conflicted. Though the screaming college girls who are afraid of what alcohol tastes like are kind of fun even if it gets kind of annoying after 1 AM and a 12 hour shift...

Anyway.

Name is Jake and I'm pretty good looking and if you don't believe I'll prove it because I'm not one of those boys who will hype themselves up then leave you disappointed.

Well, at least if you're into the whole looking ten years younger than I actually am thing. God didn't really give me facial hair and combined with pale ass skin, freckles, and actually being fit I don't seem to age. 175 and 6 feet tall btw.

Actually six feet. Not five foot ten and rounding up like most men I meet who claim to be and are shorter than me for some reason. Who then argue with me and tell me I must be six foot two or something and get mad when they don't want to swallow the pill that their lie just got called out.

I'm a bit cocky sorry I'll shut up and get on with this-

I'm a man who can handle him self and I don't need anybody but...

I want someone.

Someone beautiful and with a wicked tongue who likes a type A man who tells it like it is and ain't afraid of what others are gonna have to say back. Someone who knows who they are and what they want from me and doesn't have anymore manipulative, childish games to play.

I tend to be assertive and I'll tell you exactly what I want and how I feel about you and I always will and while I'm a bit rough around the edges you've never felt a gentle touch like mine. I'll love on you so well that you'd never have a reason to bang someone else anyway because it would be like going to McDonald's when there is a 70 dollar steak being cooked at a restaurant down the road for you for free.

I love with my hands. I love deeply. I love intimately and I don't cheat because if I'm with you I am absolutely sure I want to be. I don't half ass my work (I actually do have a decent job btw I just put that there to scare off the ones who care about money more than love) and I don't half ass my feelings.

Just gotta make feel like I am actually wanted and loved and I'd try to pull to whole moon down for you if you asked.

You'd feel safe. You'd feel wanted. You'd feel precious.

Want to know why?

Because you actually would be.

I actually am something special unlike all the boys you've dated who just think they are.

And if you're wondering why such a man is single it's because I got tired of my ex drinking most of a bottle of vodka a day and then assaulting me for stuff most people would say two words about and then forget about.

So if you're the mean and violent type the door is over there I am not even gonna try and work it out.

My drama aside that is all I will say about it I don't rant about past relationships much unless you ask first. I just thought I would draw a line about what I absolutely will not deal with and black eyes are a deal breaker.

I also really want kids and a wife and a simple but good life so I want someone whose actually ready to be with someone. Not someone who claims to be and then has a year of work to do before we can be together.

I just want love in the end.

If you're a bit older or a bit younger or poor or going through some shit I don't mind either. Just don't be like... 19 or 50 or something and we're good there. Life isn't perfect and I sure as hell don't expect you to be. Kids are okay too as long as you have time for me.

If you don't have time to regularly talk to me as well then please do not message me. I don't like being left hanging all the time when I want to get to know someone. If you cannot devote at least some time every day into talking to someone then you have no business trying to date them because you're already dating your life and it has consumed you.

I just care that you're trying and really want to be with me.

Give me that and there is very little I wouldn't do for you and I'm someone who can do a lot and be counted on.

I hope you find what you're looking for if it ain't me. Take care either way.