Here I am once again searching for love, this time with extremely harsh standards: I'd like someone who is who they pretend to be, someone who's at least a tiny bit emotionally available, someone who won't try to convert me to their religion, someone who's not already married, and finally, the big one: someone who won't cheat on me and get pregnant and expect me to help.

I know, crazy stuff! 🤪This all happened to me, and most of it recently though, so I figured I should make it clear what I don't want right away.

Annnnnyway about me-

This goes without saying but I'm very, very single right now, I've never been married before. Almost all of my exes are out of the picture, and the ones I am still friends with are happily in long-term relationships and have kids; we talk once every leap year, just about. Speaking of which, I am also child-free, though not necessarily by choice. I'd like to have one or more someday, but if that's not your thing, fur babies are perfectly fine.

I'm more of an indoors person and I work from home as a novelist and community manager. I can be a bit of a workaholic, especially when I'm particularly interested in something, and my friends and loved ones constantly have to remind me to take breaks to avoid burnout.

My talents include:

\- Coming up with the stupidest pickup lines (Send me one and I'll send you one in return!);

\- Quoting characters from different pieces of media;

\- Binge-watching shows on my days off;

\- Remembering music and voice actors from video games;

\- Getting existential dread when looking at the stars or thinking about quantum physics

\- Making stupid dad jokes at inappropriate moments

\- Crying when watching videos about cute puppies

\- Somehow putting on my pants inside-out when I wake up in the morning

I have a lot of affection to give and I'd like something long-term that will translate into a real-life relationship over time. If we have interests in common that's awesome, but as long as you're generally a good person I will probably like you.

As for who I am looking for, my preferences include someone who is my age or younger (I'm just not mature enough to be with a woman who is nearing her 40s, I'm doing you a favor!), someone who can communicate and be open to either learning or teaching hobbies if we don't have many in common.

I don't want to play armchair psychiatrist but I'm a good listener and non-judgemental. I'm a very relaxed dude and it's reaaaally hard to upset me, you'd have to actually be trying to do so, hence shy people don't be afraid to reach out (easier said than done, I know 😄)

One quick disclaimer: I will request a picture early in the conversation. That's not just because I think physical attraction matters at least a little, but every time I post here at least 50% of the replies I get are from catfishes that want to get me into cryptocurrency or some other scam, and as it so happens I don't like fish.

So, if it doesn't sound like you'd want to punch me after talking with me for 5 minutes, send me a private message. And if you think you'd want to punch me after talking with me for 5 minutes, send me a message anyway, maybe it would be a good story to tell our friends when they ask how we met.