Do you believe in manifesting your future?

I just got back from a vacation that I have been planning on some level since 2020, and I realized that I don't have much to look forward to anymore.

Oh, my career is going fine. I will finish my PhD in 2025, but that is more of a transition than a celebration. My life will likely be the same or busier doing the same stuff--teaching/writing/research/meetings--I will just make more money.

Outside of that, there isn't much going on for me. I have friends, but there isn't anything special on the horizon in that front. I don't have kids. I have interests, but not the kind that drive me to want to live beyond my current commitments.

And to be clear, there is a difference between wanting to live and trying to die. I am not suicidal. I am just bored, if that makes sense.

So I asked myself what I would be a future worth looking forward to? And I realized that it would be a honeymoon.

I took my vacation by myself. Traveling alone is difficult, especially when you are an anxious driver and you have to drive 9 hours. I did it. And I did all the activities by myself, took photos and selfies, brought one beach chair and sat there alone watching the couples and the families doing their thing. I drank pineapple soda and read book after book on the beach. And, I was really happy to be able to do that.

But, wouldn't it be cool if I didn't have to do everything alone? I want to look forward to walking along a beach holding the hand of the man I, not only loved, but trusted almost beyond reasons to love me back. To walk along that beach secure in the face that I was loved and accepted and that my partner would do their best to be there in 6 months, in 10 years, in 30 years... Wouldn't it be cool to be beginning a life with someone?

And I am not one of those chicks who is super into marriage, actually. I have been in several relationships where I never even considered such a thing. However, the ideal for me would be to love and trust someone enough that marrying them one day is a dream rather than an "eh, if you want to" or "let's save money on taxes and insurance". I want to want to bond my life to someone else's. It is not just about a ceremony or vacation, but about a life partner.

So, the details: I am black, 215ish, 5'2, curvy hourglass with glasses and braids. Divorced (but never had a honeymoon). Educated & employed. I am neurodivergent & committed to social justice and making the world better.

You: Age 35-49. 100% Single. Live in the contential US preferably the South and are willing to have a real-life, physical relationship at some point. Not a Trump supporter. Have some college (degree preferred) and a career that brings in at least $40k a year.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I would love to chat and arrange a voice call using discord. I look forward to hearing from you.

💛💛💛