I'm starting to lose my sanity.

I haven't seen a woman alone at a bar in YEARS. It's 2023 and bars are places where dudes go alone or couples go on first dates with people from dating apps.

Women I know through friends, teams, groups, etc (and I know plenty) do all of their dating online and won't even entertain the idea of a relationship with someone they know from real life, being introduced to someone, or being hit on.

Nobody even makes eye contact anymore in public. How am I supposed to shoot you a friendly smile when you're staring at your damn phone.

I'm in group chats, long text message threads, on social media, etc. I have a ton of passive communication with a ton of people every day. But I'm so sick of friendships and relationships and (dare I say) romantic/sexual stimulation coming from a fucking phone screen.

Where are the humanz? The IRL interaction. The spontaneity. The fun! The chance interactions you only get when your out and about with PEOPLE doing THINGS other than sitting on your couch or staring at your phone.

I'm sick of people that only exist inside my phone but never want to meet up. I'm sick of the people who are always too "busy" and "tired" to do simple things like go out to bars, go for a walk along the lake, plan a weekend trip, watch a movie together, or drag me somewhere unexpected.

We're getting so caught up in staring at our phones for 6 hours a day and completely used to having the power to connect with anyone anywhere in the world at any time with a couple button presses to a point where we've actually forgotten to make real effort to spend time in person engaging with real humans.

We've become completely apathetic to our actual human needs like in person interaction, companionship, affection, etc., and as a single person who lives alone and longs for greater social connectedness, this is really starting to have an effect on my mental and emotional well being.

I'm not going to lie. I'm human starved. Touch starved. Intellectual conversation starved. Fun starved. Affection starved. Comraderie starved. Friendship starved. Socially starved.

And yet, I can't find people to commit to doing anything in person. Going on a ride, going to a show, going to a jazz club, playing bar trivia, kayaking, longboarding, watching a movie, going bowling, going to a bar, playing pool, having a real conversation, WHATEVER.

Why is this so hard post-pandemic?

Don't get me wrong though. This rant makes it sound like I'm some kind of social hermit or introvert. I'm very much not. I'm insanely social, have a demanding public-facing job where I interact with tons of people. I'm a social organizer and inviter and I'm constantly surrounding myself with people. I'm one of those people that my friends say "just seems to know everybody everywhere." And maybe that's true. And maybe I'm just too comfortable in my current situation and getting de-sensitized and not taking risks. Who knows. But I feel like nobody else is going out on a limb either. Every time I try to initiate social interactions it feels like my response is a brick wall.

I'm not looking for patronizing suggestions like "why don't you volunteer" or "why don't you join a club".

I already put in that efford. I rarely spend a night home. I manage 4 softball teams at a time and I'm constantly involved in meeting and introducing new people.

And yet I still feel empty as fuck.

We're all busy. We're all depressed. We all have anxiety. The way to deal with that is by being with people and doing human things, not isolating ourselves from the world.

No matter how much effort I seem to put in, I'm not getting that same energy back in return. I just feel lonely. Maybe it's rational, maybe it's not. But the vibe is off. Is it Chicago? Is it the world? Is it me?

I'm looking for a human female. One that is willing to MEET UP and do THINGS. Activities. Distractions that keep us away from our phone screens and give us that euphoric feeling like its 2005 again. Together. Is this so hard?

Like, if you message me with "hey I'd like to talk but I can't meet up" or "hey I live on the other side of the world" it's clear to me we're not on the same page here.

I crave someone who can challenge me, excite me, come up with new ideas and ways to have fun. I haven't been excited by anyone in so long.

But I also want someone will also appreciate me, someone that I can surprise and challenge and comfort. Looking for something that goes two ways. I'm sick of one-way friendships and relationships.

I crave an equal. A non-transactional, genuine, heartfelt friendship where chemistry can develop and potentially turn into more (or not?)

Be it friendly, romantic, sexual, none of the above, or all of the above, I'm open to any direction and think labels are often premature or limiting or juvenile. I just want someone who gives me a vibe I can connect with.

Let's drink, laugh, cry, sweat, yell, make out, road trip, cuddle, shower together, ANYTHING. I just want to feel something from another human. Intimacy, affection, excitement, nervousness, arousal, stimulation, all of the things a smart phone doesn't give me.

Am I crazy?

34M, white, single, college educated, gainfully employed, live alone, intelligent, hobbies, friends, ambitions, opinion, sense of humor, liberal, 5'9, dark hair, green eyes, chubby/muscular/athletic. Night owl, somewhat depressed but very genuine and honest and loyal.

You: 18-50, single, intelligent, nearby, good communication, willing to be spontaneous, ready to meet in person soon and not just going to be a fucking imaginary person inside my phone.

Please understand basic geography, know how to get places, don't be a Republican, and for the love of god, have some interests and hobbies. Not just the internet! Not just your dog! I don't care about your dog! I'm looking for a human, not to gossip about or see photos of your pets.

Respond with your age and location or I will ignore entirely. (It's not that hard. I just typed up a novel. You put in some effort and I'll put in some effort.)