Here is my attempt to be articulate but not too wordy. I think when it comes down to it, people that have shared values are going to be the most resilient together.
Me:
I am looking for a partnership. This means at the bottom of it all, we are on the same team and always want to work things out together. I have a secure but occasionally anxious attachment style. I am striving to be better than I was yesterday. I'm always open to feedback and reflection and willing to change my perspective on something. I value connection and intimacy, both platonic and sexually. Physical touch is important to me. I do my best to communicate and articulate concisely. I strive to practice compassionate inquiry. If I'm confused, I ask questions. If I am uncomfortable, I speak up. I have boundaries and I try my best to express them in a calm and clear manner. I try my best not to sugar coat things. Sometimes this can be interpreted as blunt but I will try my best to fine tune this for the kind of partner I end up with. I am clever and enjoy humor and sarcasm when appropriate. I believe shame is self-sabotaging and shame cannot exist in gratitude. I try to practice gratitude on a daily basis. I have been to therapy on and off my entire life and would encourage my future partner and I to go to therapy together. I think it is important to have a professional unbiased perspective in my life.
I'm a helper, I was raised by helpers and because of this it comes naturally for me to problem solve. I am a recovering codependent however I am also very independent. I want my future partner and I to be interdependent. I have a job that I enjoy, and vehicles that get me where I want to be. I am in control of my life and how I react to things that happen to me. I am not a victim. I love kids but I don't have any because I believe I have never been in a partnership stable enough to support a child and I also don't think this is a good time to be bringing more humans onto this planet. I am adopted and I fully support adoption and fostering over biological children. I am spiritual but wouldn't call myself religious. I believe humans are here to help each other to the best of their abilities. To grow with, and learn from each other. I love animals and I have a doggo that I love very dearly.
You:
You don't like being stagnant. You feel like there is still room to grow into the person you want to be. You strive for and enjoy growing and learning every day. You believe there isn't a *right* time for love, only the determination to make it work no matter what life throws at us. Authenticity and vulnerability is mostly comfortable to you. You are confident in your boundaries and willing to express them before or when they are crossed. You are not afraid to tell someone "No". You live and communicate with intention. You have goals and you strive for them. You are aware or open to becoming aware of your own blind spots, biases, and past trauma. You are familiar with Weaponized Incompetence and how to play an active role in living with another person. Huge plus if you have been or are getting therapy. You know who your support system is or You should have other safe outlets to bounce thoughts and ideas around. You enjoy talking on the phone or video chatting more than texting. You don’t smoke or drink or are trying to quit. You are comfortable with a challenge and you know a long term relationship works best when both parties are giving their best.
Us:
The relationship is more important than the disagreement. We communicate to each other what we are capable of and how much effort we have to give on a given day so that the other person is aware and can try to make up the difference if need be. We are able to be interdependent and rely on each other to leverage our strengths. We don't have to agree on everything but we should respect and honor the other person's perspective or opinion. We must be willing to let go of ego and make repair attempts after disagreements. If we need time and space to process something, we ask for time and we say when we can come back to it. We don't leave the other person hanging and waiting. We understand it's okay for someone to change their mind about how they feel about something and we work with them to make it copesthetic. We check in however often we agree to and enjoy practicing gratitude with each other. We enjoy praising each other for every day feats and accomplished goals. We can admit when we're wrong about something and take ownership and grow from it. We cheer each other on because we see the value in individual and shared accomplishments. Strong intimacy comes from trust. We are eager to share and listen to new insights or information that could help us become stronger in our relationship.
I am human and imperfect.
I have ADHD, Depression, and some Autistic traits.
Shared hobbies and interests are of course a plus, but not a deal breaker.
Here are some things I enjoy doing:
Swimming and Scuba Diving
Photography (FIlm & Digital)
Urban Exploring
Riding my motorcycle
Camping in my truck
Yoga and daily stretching
Growing plants and nutritious food
Permaculture and Sustainability
Psychology, Neuroscience, Nutrition, and Health Optimization Nerd
I am fine with cannabis and psylocibin but that’s about it. Alcohol has no benefit to our bodies and I have lost too many people from it.
I don’t really believe in concepts like Fate or Destiny. Everything we do is a choice and those decisions lead us down a path in the direction we want to go. Even not making a choice is still a choice. We either live intentionally or life simply happens as we let it go by. The choice is up to us. Where will you decide to put your energy today?
Thank you so much for reading all of this. I appreciate you taking the time to do so. If any of this is resonating with you, I am eager to hear your thoughtful take on it. I realize life is busy for everyone and I don't mind chatting for a few days but I do prefer to meet up in person at some point. I'm attracted to people that give a shit. Please just be honest. I am interested in people that are imperfect AND eager to grow. I realize a lot of these values do and should overlap, text really lacks nuance unfortunately.