TL;DR: Cute, friendly BBW* here, looking for someone with whom to pass the days with steady, consistent banter and a mix of sfw and nsfw conversation.

Hi! I know I’m in the wrong place for this, but fuck it!

I’m hoping to find a genuine connection with a rational, adult human that lasts longer than a few hours or days.

I like to text throughout the day and ideally you do too. If you leave me hanging I will lose interest and bounce. But if you’re quick with both responses and wit, I am your girl!

I’m looking for someone who is sweet, interesting and funny enough to hold my attention. More than anything, I just wanna meet someone who makes me smile when I see your messages. We can brighten each other’s days!

I’m married and my husband knows I’m here, so there’s no sneaking on my end. I’d prefer you not be sneaking either, that just gets messy for everyone involved. I’m a big believer in “honesty is the best policy.”

Since I’m primarily looking for friendship, your looks aren’t important here, though I really do love a good beard and a kind smile. I have a strong preference for smart, nerdy guys who have more to say than just “lol.” Again, I like keeping up steady banter throughout the day, so it would be best if you actually have time to text and enjoy all the butterflies that come with it.

I’m interested in someone 30-50. Nothing against you young bucks but I tend to vibe with more experienced folks.

Things I’m turned on by: intelligence, confidence, good people, men who are a foot taller than me

Things I’m immediately turned off by: being gross or way too sexual, unsolicited dick pics, expecting me to act like a cam girl instead of a person seeking friendship, not understanding that no means no, slow responders, and ghosting 🚩

Things that will make me (and most women) not answer your message: you just said “hey” or something equally low-effort, you have a habit of leaving comments on Reddit thirst traps (don’t do this), you come across as desperate and/or disrespectful, or you send me an unsolicited dick pic. If you do that I’ll just roast you then report you so please save me the effort :)

Please only message me if you’re in Seattle or at least Washington State. I won’t respond otherwise.

If you’re still with me after reading all of that, send me a message and tell me your favorite color, so I’ll know you read and comprehended this thesis of a post.

I hope to talk to you soon! xx

*if you don’t know whether or not you like BBWs, I’m not the droid you’re looking for.