Hey, R4R30Plus! I'm MG. Here's a bit of basic info about me and what I'm looking for

I've been lurking in this subreddit for a while, but it's my first time posting. Probably won't be my last, though. I'm a strange, elusive thing, and the person I'm looking for is strange and elusive as well. I'm hoping he's here right now, but if not, I'm okay with sticking around and trying again for as long as it takes.

Before anything else, I have to say I'm living with my mom who has cancer, so I'm not going to be moving anywhere soon. She's currently doing okay and I'm hoping to keep her going for more than 5 years, but I'm trying to get this whole dating thing rolling now because time's really creeping up on me, you know? The other day, I accidentally startled myself awake by smacking my arm against my lips and I woke up thinking, "Whoa, that flesh is not as supple as it used to be!"

I figure if I ever want to have meaningful, passionate, and loving sex while my breasts still have a bit of lift to them, I should take the plunge and look for someone right now.

Anyway. Here's my first pitch!

In the fantasy world I'm writing about, the people of a certain religion used to believe that everyone has several spiritual creatures living inside them. There's a funny, little monster coiled at the base of your spine (connecting you to the earth), an entirely different creature crouched on the crown of your head (connecting you to the sky), and five others frolicking about in between.

This mental construct was supposed to help the believers understand that even though each of them feels like their Self is a single, discrete whole, the truth is that every person consists of multitudes. People are complex, contradictory. For these ancient folks, the process of becoming fully human was to discover and name all of these inner beasts, and eventually come to understand their personal humanity in terms of being both a single organism and an emergent ecosystem.

Nowadays, that metaphor has fallen out of fashion. (Evil mage. Hive mind. Long story.) But traces of it still remain in local rituals, particularly in marriage.

For example, many wedding ceremonies still have some version of "circuit binding". Each person to be married would be fitted with a circlet, with a fine chain attached to the back of it and dangling all the way down to the tailbone. Depending on the couple's wealth and status, there would be seven jewels or polished pebbles or papier-mâché flowers set in intervals along the chain, each with a ribbon fixed to it.

The jewels or flowers symbolize the couple's inner creatures. The ribbons symbolize vulnerability -- a reaching outward into the void hoping that something friendly would reach out back.

After the vows are said, the couple's friends and family would help them tie the ribbons together one by one: crown to crown, mind to mind, throat to throat, heart to heart, and so on. In this way, they're saying that this marriage is not just between one person to another. It's the marriage of the inner menageries as well.

If the heart-beast in one fails and becomes fearful and sad and filled with resentment against the world, then the heart in the other would move to cover that one with its wings, to compensate for the other's weakness until it's well again. If the mind-beast in one is just not very good at planning or remembering birthdays, then its counterpart would step in and handle that aspect of their lives. And sometimes, there would be just that simple, ecstatic union: instant recognition and welcome, like a golden retriever meeting a toy poodle at a park and realizing that no matter how different the other one looks, they're the same kind after all.

Basically, the two inner worlds would flow into each other -- filling each other's gaps or amplifying each other's strengths -- creating a circuit of spiritual power that's greater than either of them could manage on their own.

And I wrote all of that, not just because I wanted to give everyone a live performance demonstrating why I'm a childless, never-married woman at 35, but also because this does reflect my own personal philosophy when it comes to personhood and relationships. I do believe that each of us contains multitudes. Many of us are infested with inchoate, inner beasts, whose names we do not yet know. And while parts of us will enthusiastically roll around in the dog park together, other bits of us might not play well at all. But we somehow have to figure out how to make it all work.

Anyway, if you're a single/divorced and kind man who would enjoy discussing how we could mate what's essentially our chakra Pokémon* or other such weird things, send me an email. I will not reply to any comments, chats, or DMs here on Reddit. I do appreciate people who are not romantically interested but still want to leave kind comments, so I'll thank you in advance here. I see your good vibes and I'm sending them back your way.

But if you are interested in starting a relationship, please send me an email. Preferably with a picture of you and as much info as you're comfortable sharing. In terms of physical attraction, I'd prefer a man in his 30s-50s, taller than me (5'3 and up), who's at least somewhat active (would love to have a walking buddy someday). Also, I like dad bods. <3 Teddy bear cuddles!

My email address is not-so-cleverly hidden in the slideshow in my profile. And I know, I know, it's a lot of extra steps. But my ideal person would enjoy having tons of information about me, because I'd also like to know tons of information about them. (If I like you, I will attempt to read all your blog posts or look at all your pics, etc.) (And no, while I might sound like one, I am not a large language model hoovering up data from all over the internet in order to simulate human speech. But I am on the autism spectrum, which makes me similar. That said, I've devoted the past eight years to learning human empathy and manually building structures of kindness into my brain. Some might consider this state, er, unemployed, but it's important and difficult work that a lot of people neglect to do. I can bring value to your life, just not financially.) (And just so it's clear, I am not going to ask for money from you if we're just dating or in an LDR. Unless you want to hire me to make a dating slideshow for you or something lol)

Even if you don't decide to email me, as long as you've made it to the end, I sincerely thank you for reading through this! You must be a person of great culture and taste. XD I hope you find the one for you soon.

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^\Unfortunately, I've never watched Pokémon, I just have a vague idea from all the bits that have percolated into general culture. (My own formative childhood anime was Akazukin Cha Cha, which is like a dollar store Sailor Moon. ^^; I have the worst taste in anime.))