I'm going to tell you about myself, at least how I'm currently feeling sometimes. Apologies if too offensive or whatever I mean no harm.

https://imgur.com/a/SL2obo5 I have made many dating profiles over the years, (of course deleting off and on). Paid for extra features on some (which made the apps worst). The only one's that ever liked me were fake profiles. No one wants to talk on the phone, though I feel I'm a better writer than a talker, I still try to have conversations. If I were to get a girlfriend, I won't lie, I want a sexual relationship with her, but I have to be comfortable with her.

There were times where I thought about trying hook up opportunities recently, but I changed my mind during the conversations because I was reminded of what happened before.

Years ago, the first hook up I ever had was from a dating app. It was so awkward. We didn't know each good enough, not only was I a virgin. But I was so nervous and panicky, I couldn't push through my nerves to continue intercourse. I just stopped.

So I don't want that again, I want to be with someone who cares about me and I care about her. I want to embrace, to feel her soft skin, running my fingers through her hair. Real caring cuddling.

Real intimate sex, where it's beyond our bodies if that makes any sense.

I want share the things I grew up with, my favorite movies, favorite video games, music, manga, watch anime and Asian shows with me. Watch wrestling with me. Watching game and trivia shows with me. Sharing interest and foods. Laugh together. Eating together, fart together, and bathe together, washing each other backs.

Be my best friend in this insane world.

I'm not perfect, and always try to be a good person. Not the smartest either. And reclusive, quiet a lot of days. Always thinking to myself about everything.

I have mental illnesses, OCD and insomnia. I'm happy even if I don't show it. Somedays I feel sad, but still happy even then. I have to be.

Talk about our lives growing up.

There are days where I'm not sure if it's wise to look for a girlfriend, because of my flaws. I'm not good looking, kind of fat, a big kid, and probably not interesting. Maybe I'm just venting I don't know.