Hey folks! My name's Victoria. I don't really try dating a lot because I was literally brainwashed by the CIA and now I'm a monk on a mission but it's late at night and I can't sleep so fuck it I say! Ain't losing nothing but time typing this out. Who knows, maybe I'll find another alien on our home planet. Then we could bake cookies together and, I dunno, start a cult as our first step towards our world domination campaign. I call dibs on being president!

Anyways, let's clear the air a little bit. First off, I'm schizoaffective and autistic. It's fun, really I love when the Illuminati communicates through me through my phone's keyboard's autocomplete feature. See, you might see that as a joke, and it is, but I'm being serious, too. In short, I got superpowers people. Stephen King writes two thousand words a day; I can write upwards of fifteen thousand when I'm in mania and I don't run out of idea saplings. And you know what I'm using this talent for? Well, aside from being almost done with the final draft of my first book (is good, check out the first ten chapters on my profile), I'm mainly focused on writing edutainment here on Reddit to teach philosophy, spirituality, and mental health skills to help people self-actualize. I do a good job with this and I'm working towards eventually starting an educational nonprofit.

But, what about what I'm like? I'm pretty God damned normal with some quirks. Now, this hasn't always been the case. I've done a lot of healing and I might come off as a little kooky in my writing, but I'm also a performance artist (and juggler), so I deliberately channel my autobiographical character when I type up my thoughts. It's strategic in this instance! Like attracts like, and I want someone who can appreciate my sense of humor. But, also, I want someone who is kind, compassionate, and dedicated to selfless service because that's what I am and it means a lot to me. Also, civic virtue is key to a healthy society, which is why I've dedicated my life to making the world a better place.

What do I like to do? I already told you, I write, juggle, and do performance arts. Also I like marketing myself. And I eat. Sometimes I poop. Uhhh...drugs? But, like in a healthy, conscious way. I used to like video games but I'm serious when I say I was brainwashed. They literally used classical and operant conditioning to reprogram my dopamine. It's a long story; it's in my book. But, what I'm saying is, I used to be an addict to beeps and boops but now it's like moving pixels on a screen. It's work, and if I'm going to work, I might as well write a post on enlightenment and make a bunch of people laugh at some absurd bullshit along the way.

Speaking of that, I'm also big into spiritual work. Don't worry, I'm a chaos magician mixed with a Buddhist with a layer of icing consisting of everything else. I'm very open minded! I consider my spiritual work to be anything that improves me or my perspective. Always resting a better head than I woke up with. God helps with that, but God's an alien hivemind cloaked near our planet. In short, I like to have fun with my belief system!

So, uh, I dunno what to say now. Oh! I know, I should mention how important family is to me. I want to get married with someone with a similar mission for the rest of our lives, while having or adopting a couple kids and raise em right! The best love is the type that's unconditional and eternal. That's what I want to give you, and I won't accept anything less from you.

I think that's enough. I could write a ten million word dissertation, but ain't nobody reading that! So, imma sign off and have a cupcake. Om nom nom nom! Alright that was tasty! I hope you have something sweet in your life, and if not, I'll be that for you! Yay! Ok, now either go ignore me, or, if you're not a barf sandwich, send me a message! Victoria out! 💚👽

Edit: sorry, I forgot to mention that I'm a demisexual, so please don't be sexual when we're just getting to know each other. A girl's gotta watch out for her boundaries!