I often walk in the evenings. Of course, January isn't the best time to go out as the sun goes down, but at least I'm somewhere more mild. Still, I miss warmer weather and longer days. And I miss walking with a partner- sharing hands, music, stories, sights and silence. I just miss sharing time and space with her.

But I don’t know “her”. She isn’t my ex or anyone I’ve ever met. She is not one person. She is everyone and no one at the same time. Maybe she found her way here at this moment to read this and will feel compelled to respond. Or maybe she is just a new friend who should write as well because she knows a new friend is always worth it.

I especially miss doing the little things with her. Searching a used bookstore with her for unknown treasures to show each other. Catching up on a show as we sit on the couch and I give a leg rub because my lap is her ottoman. Wandering the big streets and the side streets of the city with her on a Saturday. Riding shotgun with her as we drive up through the mountains on a Sunday. Laughing in bed with her at the stupidest thing. Staying up late talking about everything and anything that comes to mind without worry. Exploring her body like I'm discovering the new world. Falling asleep with her head on my chest. Waking her up because it’s time to start our day. Getting woken up by her because I’m the one probably sleeping longer. Washing her back in a hot shower. Running errands with her because errands are just better with a best friend. Working out with her because it's more fun and the motivation helps. Controlling her toy as she tries to maintain a poker face in public. Cooking with her because I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing so I’ll learn (or we’ll learn together). Experiencing the new little (and big) things with her because life is precious and short like that.

I miss it all. I want it all.

Tell her I said hello.