It was tense.

I'm looking for a connection to banter and crack excellent jokes with (like the one above). Bantz are important, so please only message if you can banter like hell. I won't entertain a one line opener. How's your day thus far?

Currently watching 'Half Bad' and it's surprisingly good! I finished watching 'Cabinet of Curiosities' and liked some episodes. Others were too gory for me. 'The IT Crowd', 'The Office', 'Flowers', 'Derry Girls', 'Kingdom', and 'Crash Landing on You' are some of my other favourite shows.

As someone who studied Romantic Literature, William Wordsworth is my favourite poet. Love Keats, Georgette Heyer, Emily Dickinson, Samuel Beckett, Victor Hugo, and Guy de Maupassant equally though. I write poems and short stories when the muses are kind enough to inspire me. But, don't worry, I won't bombard you with my work unless you ask for it, haha!

Please:

• Be in the age range of 28-40.
• Send a photo or two of yourself so I know I'm not talking to a tree. I have a profile picture if you want to cheggit.
• Be comfortable sending voice notes / calls. Texting all the time is about as fun as getting stuck in the elevator with Helen from the 1st floor.
• Know how to hold a conversation (I can't keep responding to 'Sup' or 'Got milk?' beyond a certain point!).
• Write a witty paragraph of a decent length about yourself including your age, location and your favourite breakfast? Again, won't respond to just a line saying, "Hi! I'm 33 and love Red Bull. Wanna chat?".
• Be single (We don't need to be romantic, but I'm not comfortable talking to people in relationships).
• Dislike pineapple on pizza with a fervour (don't come at me).
• Send a chat request since I've disabled PMs.

Let's talk already! See ya later, alligator.