I agree with all of this. I can pass the paper bag test and have somewhat ambiguous features that make people believe I'm biracial as black and white or black and Hispanic. I barely speak Spanish and yet even Hispanic people will ask where I'm from because of the way I speak it. I'm awkward and seen as femme until people get to know me and see I'm just a former tomboy who just looks femme at times but isn't. More of a 4.5 on the femme masc scale. And with this I constantly get fetisishized as the "first black girl" someone has been with or the "I don't see you as black" crowd so I get it. I try to swipe on most I'm attracted to but tend to stick to ND people instead of neurotypical people. I've noticed an indifference to race in the ND community that makes it easier to date and meet up. If someone is already awkward it makes it easier for me to talk to them. I have to look at profiles and also avoid the BLM ACAB white people because it usually turns into them fetishizing my experiences as a black woman and using it for their platform while centering themselves in my narritive. All of what you said is so true especially with my experiences with apps and dating. Even here on Reddit I get hot on mostly by either much younger guys who are just horny or middle aged men who are divorced or have a boring marriage. I'll reply to the few posts from women seeking anyone or other women, but most of the time it's just talk and nothing sexual. IRL is just as you say about them standing around and staring instead of approaching. I had to start coming up with creative ways to talk after observing them of a bit. I may intentionally bump into them, appologize, then compliment something. Or buy them a drink when both of us are ordering at the bar. But I also seem to attract those drunk talkers who treat me like a therapist, again from the ND and not understanding until too late I've been roped into it.