ETA: Obviously she could just not want to hang out or be my friend. It’s not the first time, I’m just not sure what I did.

So, first thing, there aren’t a lot of black people where I live. When I happen to be in a group with another black person, especially a black woman, I try to be friendly and see if we can be friends.

What I’m describing has happened twice in two different contexts, so I’m trying to figure out if it’s me or if it’s a cultural thing or if it’s plain ole prejudice.

I met a black woman who I think has immigrated or at least has family from another country based on her accent. I’m brand new and she’s been here a few months longer than me, but she’s also kinda new. I haven’t had a chance to chat with her one on one like I have with others. When I ask her questions about herself or the work she seems a little uncomfortable? It’s just like where did you go to school, how long have you been working here, small talk questions. I thought it was just awkwardness meeting someone new, so I chilled out and minded my business. She’s definitely more chatty and cracks jokes with the others, but she’s known them longer, so of course.

So, when she was doing to take her break, I asked where she was going for her break with the intent of asking to join her and she kinda pointed me off to where I could take my break somewhere else.

I’m like okay, so maybe she just wants to take her break alone. No biggie. But, now I’m just questioning myself because she always seems so uncomfortable when she talks to me, but I haven’t done anything but be openly queer and also black and make small talk. She’s just the most recent example, but I met a woman from Zimbabwe last semester and I got a similar sort of stonewalling. She never talked to me unless we were in a group and we always very polite, but not friendly and joking like she was with others even though we all met at the same time and befriended each other around the same time.

I know lots of places in the islands and in parts of the diaspora can be very homophobic. Is that what this is?