I know this may sound crazy but I think I’m in a different reality, either that or I’m just being paranoid bc of this theory. But I tried to commit suicide, I had put a gun to much chin and I pulled the trigger. The only reason I’m still here is because it misfired. When I went to clear it, it fired into my windshield instead. Now I’m not here to talk about that or anything, I’ve already kinda come to terms with my actions. But I say this on here, because of weird things I’ve been seeing and experienced.

1. I don’t remember anything before the incident. I don’t remember getting to my car or getting the gun. I just remember leaving a party around 3:00, and the last thing I remember before hand was getting into my car. But after that It just felt like I woke up all of the sudden at that moment. And I will say this to be completely honest I did drink that night, but compared to how much I usually drink, this was no where near enough for me to black out.

2. The world felt weirdly ethereal afterwards. I know thats probably not the right word, but that just kinda how it felt, granted afterwards I was probably still buzzed, but I really don’t know how to explain it, everything felt weird. And I was even too afraid to go to sleep, because I didn’t think I was gonna get back up. But fortunately I did, and everything felt normal afterwards.

3. Things feel out of place. I had to drive home after the incident. It’s about a 3 hr drive, and as I was looking around I saw different buildings, that I’ve never seen before, and I took paths I don’t remember taking. For context I’ve been making this drive about 5-7x a year for the past 4 years. I had a classmate who was in a computer and analysis class at the beginning of the year about a week before the incident. But when I got back I asked him about what I missed in class, and he told me he’s never been in the class, even though I clearly remember seeing him, bc I always notice his piercing hazel eyes, and hearing his voice. I’ve had other little “differences” but they were dubunked by me and my therapist, but the other two are still kinda hunting me.

I don’t expect to find awncers for this, I just want to share my experiences with quantum immorality or it can just be my slow decent into paranoia.