Roughly 50% of the world has a cock. The other half has a pussy. Unfortunately, I was one of the people stuck with a penis.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my willy. It’s practical, gets the job done, is a fun gooner joystick. But let’s be honest, the male genitalia is remarkably simple. It’s just a sausage, that’s all. Give it a few rubs and it has a quick sneeze-like orgasm and you’re done. There was almost no exploring to do as we were learning our genitals, oh you just piss and spunk out the same hole, it feels good to rub, end of story.

A pussy on the other hand, oh my word. Where do you even start? First of all, pussy contains two pleasure centres, so its owner can choose whether she’s in the mood for pounding her deep hole or rubbing her ultra sensitive clitty nub – I still think it’s unfair that pussies have two pleasure centres while men just have a stupid boring sausage! They get to have a deep self lubricating fuckhole that goes deep inside their bodies, us dudes can’t even comprehend that. All of the delicate blooming flowery lips and flaps, outer labia, inner labia, the clitoral foreskin, the peehole… it blew my mind when I found out girls had two holes in the same set of genitalia. My female friend said it took her embarassingly long to figure out that pee came from a separate hole, like isn’t that absurd? By about age 9 boys know everything there is to know about penises because they’re simple and boring. The fact that even some adult women are unaware of the different parts of their anatomy is testament to how exquisitely complex that sexual organ is.

It seems like hours of fun discovering your own body and exploring deep inside your pusssy hole, trying out all the different orgasmic combinations of hole clit. It’s yet another reason to be absolutely in awe and fascinated by this incredible body part that literally half of everybody you see has. Fuck they don’t know how lucky they are!