This is not a question to rile anyone up or intended to make comparisons.

As men, we hear a lot about self-improvement, getting a good job, training our minds, bodies, and personalities, and cultivating skills to attract women and keep them in relationship with us. Obviously, some men do better at this than others.

But this messaging is so pervasive that some people think it’s only men who are expected to improve themselves and ‘bring stuff to the table.’ Some people never even think about or consider what they do, can, or should bring to a relationship. Some women think they ‘are the table’ — that they don’t have to do anything — and some men think that women in general don’t bring much ‘to the table’ at all.

My experience doesn’t agree. Perhaps I’ve been fortunate, but I can see ways my previous partners and current partners added value to my life through being in relationship with me.

So, women, what do you see yourself as ‘bringing to the table?’ What do you think you can and should ‘bring to the table?’ What are you saying, doing, and working on that adds value to your relationship? What are you offering and doing for your (potential or actual) partner? (Explicating these things might help people personally recognize their own value and help others see the value women bring to relationships and society.)

EDIT: I’m interested in what women think, what their perspective and experience tells them, how they would personally answer these questions. I’m not interested in comparing what men and women bring or what women think they do and should bring because of society’s expectations.