This is comparable to men hitting on women.

When there’s an abundance, and the majority of them are using the same “pitch”, it honestly just makes sense to ignore or brush off the majority of cold pitches, especially ones that don’t immediately spark massive green flags.

I’m an AE for a large digital marketing tech company, and I feel like a lot of the stuff you apply to sales outreach can be applied to dating. Not saying you should view women as a deal to close, but the psychology is remarkably similar. Understanding this can give men some empathy and help them take a better approach.

In sales, warm leads are 1000x better than cold leads. If you’ve already networked with a prospect, and they’re already warm to you and like you, they are MUCH more likely to be receptive to your pitch. But if you maintain a relationship with them forever, constantly kiss their ass and do things for them without ever asking for a demo or an order, they can always see through it and can tell that you have ulterior motives. You come off as a manipulative coward.

If you DO want to cold call, understand that you’re interrupting people’s day. Doesn’t matter how good the product is. Your presence is abrasive. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but you must accept that the numbers are lower, and that you need to gracefully accept no and not be overly pushy.

You also need to stand out. You have the first glimpse of your pitch to show some kind of value. I’m terms of dating, this means saying “hey” or “you’re beautiful” is the equivalent of saying “is your car’s warranty up to date?” And saying anything sexual is the equivalent of saying “I don’t care if you like my product. I just want my commission”

Lastly, go make a post on Facebook asking for some type of common service. I recommend graphic designer services to make you a t-shirt design. Watch how many responses you get in 3 hours. They’re all the same “here’s my value please pick me” responses. Are you able to respond to all of them?

That’s the dating app experience for women.

I’m not saying this is fair. It absolutely does make it hard, and there should br a comparable post made about men so that women can empathize with us too.

But understanding what the experience is like and putting yourself in the other person’s shoes can help you not take everything so personally and hopefully help you shift your approach.