So this question stems from a conversation I (27M) had with my ex (26F) around our recent breakup. We were on good enough terms to talk about our future plans and while we both agreed we probably wouldn’t jump into another intimate relationship for a while, I was kind of taken aback when she joked that we would both be doing the hookup thing for the foreseeable future. Now obviously I wasn’t trying to be judgmental of her and I explained that if that’s how she coped with it that’s fine, but that I didn’t personally want to be intimate in any way with another person for some time and that included even casual sex. This led to her asking me what the longest I had gone without sex since becoming sexually active, and when I told her about a year and a half she was genuinely mind blown. She said the longest she had ever gone was barely over a month and that it was agonizing, and asked how I dealt with the cravings. I explained that yeah it obviously wasn’t fun, but that eventually I just got used to it and it wasn’t a big deal. She couldn’t seem to comprehend and told me that for girls, sex is a genuine physical need that if not met causes extreme levels of distress.

This all got me thinking, I know culturally we’re taught that men are the ones who crave sex the most and are always having to fight/pacify the urge, but could it be that the urge is actually worse for women on a long term basis? And if so is it based on nature or is it simply due to conditioning stemming from the fact that on average, women have easier access to sex? I’m curious to hear some female insight.