Trigger warning ⚠️... I recently, through seeing a show on Amazon prime and talking to my therapist, discovered that I have pure OCD... Around 30 years that I've been dealing with it and not told anyone due to feelinf all the shame and thinking bad of myself for all the intrusive thoughts... Everything from the SOCD, VOCD, HOCD, and ROCD... They have all been part of the intrusive thoughts for decades. Not seeking help sooner cost me my family. My soon to be ex wife told me for years I needed help, but I was too caught up on other rhinfs to actually get the hell I needed. Things got so bad that she pushed me away. I slept on the couch for a year and a half. For over a year, she didn't show me any kind of affection - no kissing, hugging... Nothing. For the last 8 months I was there, she would only talk to me about her work or would argue with me over everythinf she could. Had issues with my youngest stepson that were out of line, including him vandalizing my vehicle, and him going and doing whatever he wanted at virtually any time. But I was wrong, according to her for trying to discipline him the way we had always disciplined the children... But she told me she didn't know what the right way to handle it was, that I was just wrong. Even with all her training over the years with children ( she has over 2 decades of experience working with children, including children with disabilities) but she couldn't tell me a better way to handle it because she didn't know. So I left, and missed my family like crazy. Got help and discovered the pure OCD was what was driving alot of my decisions. Tried to explain to her what was going on, but she told me she didn't have time for it... She didn't have time to learn about her husband's mental illness.... But she did have the time to find a new boyfriend while we are still married. So now I just have to be concerned with me and getting better. I finally got out on celexa and trazadone for my OCD and I'm really hoping it helps calm down all the intrusive thoughts. There's nights I can't sleep and all I will do is pace for 7 hours straight, just stewing in those intrusive thoughts... I hope, at least, that this makes someone feel like they aren't alone in the OCD struggle.