Hi everyone,

I'm a 23 y.o. that just graduated nursing school, so I'm a a newbie in my profession. I always loved dogs, and when my best friend got a new puppy, it motivated myself to convince my parents whom I live with, to also get a dog. I put down a non-refundable deposit for a new pup (a labradoodle - which is the dream dog I've always wanted and she's so beautiful and I was so excited at first but now anxious), but now it's really hitting me full force what I got myself into - anxiety and pre puppy blues and all. The pup is ready to go home by mid January so I really want to make a decision in advance before that time of course.

I have currently not a lot of responsibilities - I live with my parents so no rent, I have no kids and no husband. I worry about student loans (which is quite hefty), and car payments, that's about it. I'm a causal nurse so I don't work too often, about twice a week - so I have no crazy commitments with work, but eventually I will get a set part-time and full time position. Being a new nurse is also hard on it's own, which is one of my biggest stressors and life changes at the moment. With all of this in mind, I thought this is the best time to get a dog because I have my parents to help me out, don't have a full time position, and not too much to worry about. My parents are also very excited, but they say this is "my" dog and my responsibility financially and all with them helping out a little bit on the side.

The other side of the coin, is that I'm realizing that am I ready to gain a MAJOR responsibility I've never had, like I never had to take care of someone for a long term commitment. I'm getting major anxiety thinking about the "loses"- like I'm not going to be able to do what I want anymore, I can't just leave the house whenever, work whenever I want, and sleep whenever I want. Even though it's COVID and I probably won't be travelling anywhere anytime soon, once I have a new fur baby - I won't be able to take a vacay whenever I want and always have my fur baby responsibility on my mind. A big thing is that I don't want to mess up, I see so many videos of aggressive dogs or dogs with behavioral issues and that scares me and what if my fur baby turns out this way. I feel like I'm always going to feel this anxious all the time. Am I putting too, too much weight on having a fur baby?

The other side of coin, I'm so excited for to have my cutest fur baby with me and add some substance to my life. I am so excited about the thought of training and thinking about all the little success my baby will have - as I like to believe she's going to be so smart. Another thing is I love the thought of joining the dog community - taking my dog on walks, going to the dog park, and having my friends' dogs join together and be one dog family. Having a cuddle buddy and companion is something I've dreamt about. I have bought dog books and looking at all the equipment I need as well.

I have to think about the finances that I am responsible with the dog and just this immense responsibility that is a big change in my life. It's comforting to know that having a dog is a reality for a lot of people, props to moms who have kids and a dog!!! I'm super anxious ya'll and don't know what to do. I'm ok with losing my hefty deposit if it comes down to it, rather than get the dog (pay like the 2 grand for it) and then rehome it which is awful. If I don't come through with this opportunity now, I don't think I would try again anytime soon because of the loss of money and disappointment. I also feel really bad for the seller. I feel so guilty I jumped the gun, but I felt like I was ready and I had time to prepare, but now it's really hitting me - I feel so sorry.

Any advice on this pre puppy, puppy blues?