I’m not trying to justify cheating, from my short research I’ve read that it can cause people to perceive situations differently but that doesn’t mean they didn’t make a choice still and doesn’t justify that choice. However I’m still trying to understand it.

This all took place about 6 months ago and we haven’t talked since. I started having feelings for my friend and since we where living together i suggested I should move back to my parents to give us some space. She claimed to be conflicted but begged, not asked, like hands and knees crying begged me not to leave. She started to guilt trip me as well about the other times I’ve “left her” and how it made her feel. The problem here was she was in a relationship however she’d come to me crying multiple times for the past few months that she wants to breakup with him but can’t. None of this made sense to me but I still felt guilty about Leaving so I didn’t. She began flirting with me and despite me trying to mellow things out she kept on talking about sex. We had been friends for 10 years and I thought she was the last person who could ever cheat on someone but despite her asking me to be patient while she figures out how to end things with her boyfriend she instead cheated on him multiple times with me then guilt tripped me after I found out she hadn’t broken up with him.

I couldn’t emotionally handle this so she accused me of manipulating her while still begging me not to leave and telling me I wasn’t respecting her relationship. She told all her friends about me flirting but refused to mention the fact she encouraged it and had sex with me leading them to all think I’m just an immature manipulative asshole who wasn’t respecting her. Eventually I left anyway which she took as me raising an unfair ultimatum as did all our mutual friends. She told me If I can’t respect her than we can’t be friends anymore which baffled me. She told her mom everything and to my shock her mom agreed with her telling me that she sees the situation different from me and there’s two sides to every story.

For some fucked reason I’m trying to see if psychosis could’ve played any roll in this so maybe her actions aren’t justified but they are at least more understandable than simply she’s a terrible person I’ve trusted for the past 10 years.

I found out about a week before we stopped talking that she has psychosis and borderline personality disorder. I understand the bpd but I still don’t have a firm grasp of psychosis